Monday, April 14, 2014

Mid April, already?

Can you believe that it is nearly mid April?  I can.  Especially since the last two weeks have moved at a glacial pace.  What were once just annoyingly necessary work days have now become annoyingly necessary and incredibly LONG work days.  So why you ask...well I'll tell you.  One: it's spring.  Spring means pollen.  Pollen means a runny nose, sneezing, itchy watery eyes, sinus headaches and popping allergy pills like candy.  Said allergies can make the day very long.  Two: I now work for a new company so everything is all new at work.  And not in a good way.  Not new exciting but rather new aggravating.  Whereas I was the "go to" person with all the answers in the office, now I am the "go to" person with more questions than anyone else in the office.  Basically, ignorance is annoying.  Have I mentioned that I'm annoyed??  I think I did at least a few times.

So here we are just a matter of days before Easter.  Coming this Holy Week at PGUMC is the Maundy Thursday service, Stations of the Cross on Friday and then of course Easter Sunday.  We all know how Joe loved holiday music.  One of my fondest memories is from several years ago when the PGUMC Chancel Choir performed "Shadow of the Cross" for Maundy Thursday.  I have never witnessed a more beautiful and meaningful service.  Then last year, coming just a few months after Joe's death, I was a complete mess at the Maundy Thursday service.  Then the next day upon arriving at the church for the Stations of the Cross, I was greeted by the sound of Joe's "Time of Centering" CD quietly playing through the sound system.  Needless to say I only made it to the first station before breaking down in tears.  So what to do?  I don't think I can handle another Maundy Thursday service, no matter how much I would like to be there.  Yes I know, it's probably cowardly to just not go.  However, my public emotionally distraught displays have to be tiresome for my church family.  If nothing else, not being there will give my friends a break from trying to console me.  That leaves the Stations on Friday.  I think I can do that one.  Yes I know, more public displays.  But it's mostly solitary and much easier to hide a mental meltdown!   Finally, Sunday means Easter.  On the plus side, I don't have to be there before 7:00am for the sunrise service like I was for several years.  On the down side, I also don't get to hear Joe play the heck out of that organ.  I think that is one of the things I miss most on Sundays.  Hearing those glorious chords blasting through the antiphonal speakers making everyone sit up and take notice.  Just yesterday at church I sat there and I could almost see Joe  sitting on the organ bench, grinning that irrepressibly impish smile of his.  I miss that so much.  I guess it really is the little things that you miss the most. 

Okay, the tears are flowing freely as I type so I will just end.  Of course, no March, April or May post would be complete without mentioning "Relay for Life".  My fundraising has gone well but I am so far behind last year.  But behind is okay.  One can only beg so much before completely alienating everyone.  But I'm not at that point yet, so here goes.  First, to those that have already generously donated to my fundraising efforts; thank you.  To those that haven't had the chance to make a donation, here is your chance.  Relay for Life only works when we as a community come together to raise funds to Fight Back against cancer in all it's many forms.  Help make another birthday a reality.  To make a donation to support me in my Relay for Life efforts, just click on the footprint below.


You can donate online via credit card or by check by printing a donation sheet and mailing to the American Cancer Society.  Please make checks payable to the American Cancer Society.  The donation form can also be found by following the same link.  All donations are 100% tax deductible.

There are two ways to get me to stop asking for a donation: 1) Tell me to stop asking (not my personal favorite but highly effective) -or- 2) Make a donation (my favorite and equally effective).   Either way, thank you for your time and consideration as well as all the support and prayers that I feel every day.

REMEMBER * CELEBRATE * FIGHT BACK 

1 comment:

  1. I think it takes a very brave, smart and self-aware person to admit when they are emotionally unable to do something. You are taking care of yourself and there's no shame in that.

    I appreciate the reminder to donate!

    And I thought about Joe on Sunday at church too. I do most Sundays--but last Sunday we were singing some hymn or another and I thought "Something is off. Where's oomph. Wait, where's the organ? Why are we singing this with the piano? I miss Joe."

    And I don't know if it will help you, but it certainly helps me this time of year--Joe introduced me to my very favorite Easter song I've ever sung, ever. I find myself singing it all the time this time of year, and even if I am sad it brings a smile to my face. It's "Was It a Morning Like This?" It's hard to be overwhelmed by sadness when you think about singing grass and a rejoicing earth. :)

    Sorry for the super long comment. Just wanted you to know I'm sending you lots and lots of love.

    ReplyDelete

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