All things must come to an end...

...and so it shall be for this blog.  So much of myself was poured into this site.  First as a more effective way to communicate to friends and far flung family about Joe's cancer, his treatment, his progress or lack thereof, how I was coping, and all aspects of fighting pancreatic cancer from both the perspective of the patient and the caregiver.  This blog proved to be very cathartic in helping me verbalize all the emotions that swirled around inside me during that terrifying 2 1/2 years before Joe's death and then continued still for the years immediately following as I learned to cope with being a widower.  It was also there for me when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and although my cancer was not the ultimate death sentence that Joe's pancreatic cancer was, it helped me most by allowing me to occasionally vent.  But the blog did its job both for me and for the readership.  It spread the word and gave me an outlet.

While my surgery was a success, I do still have to do followup testing to make sure the cancer hasn't returned, but thus far I'm good.  Next appointment in April.

But so much more has happened that I have rarely wrote about.  I sold mine & Joe's home.  I only wrote a couple of posts about my new relationship, the engagement, the wedding and subsequent honeymoon.  Since the last post early last year, we have built a house, closed on it, moved in and are preparing the old house for sale.  There hasn't been a single point of focus in my life other than my marriage and the building of the home.  Nothing that needed to be talked about to help.  That was what the blog was most about, helping me cope.  Most posts during Joe's illness were composed after midnight while he slept and I cried.  Most posts were typed with me sitting or lying next to him watching him breathe just in case it was his last.  Most posts had to be rewritten several times because sometimes I said too much.  Sharing is great, sharing too much is scary.

But I digress.  For now, I am going to close the blog.  Should events warrant, it could reappear.  However, for now, please wish me luck & love.  Remember Joe Lupton for the incredible man that he was.  Allow him to live in your memories and your hearts.  But most of all, smile whenever you do think of him as I am sure he is smiling down on each and everyone of us all the time.

I love you Joe.  I always will.  It will be a happy day when we are reunited.  I know you've been watching, but I have SO much to catch you up on.  In the meantime, give John a hug from Steve, tell him I am taking care of Steve and that when all 4 of us are together we will have some great stories to share.