Some Nights just Drag On

Its now after 1 a.m. and I'm laying here in bed listening to the soft sound of Joe sleeping, so thankful that he is able to sleep. The stress of the last two days have been unbearable for him. Having words with his mother on Thursday, my verbal assault of her the same evening, this mornings pronouncement from his sister during a phone conversation that we are both going to hell and then the cherry on top; his sister telling his brother that she thinks we are mentally ill. A person can only take so much. A person suffering from a horrible disease can take even less before it takes it's toll. Joe and his mother and sister have always been extremely close. This is devastating to him. I know I made matters worse by my explosion of vile language, but I can't take it back. Even if I could, all I would do is change the words, the intent would be the same.

I thought after only a few hours of sleep last night that sleep would come easy tonight. Too much running through my mind. Do I want to try and make it better with his mother and sister? Will I do more harm than good by even trying? Would it be futile given how entrenched they are in their beliefs? Do I just shut up and try to comfort Joe? He has lost in all of this. He is wounded and numb. I am guilt ridden for my part. Sleep just want come as I watch the clock tick closer to 2 a.m.