A Mothers Love

I started this blog post yesterday morning and it had a completely different spin to it.  It was all about how this was an off week for chemo for Joe, that although he had had a good week off, he had been a little tired due to his hectic schedule which includes piano students every day and 2 evenings of being an accompanist and then 1 night of choir rehearsal.  Except for my mentioning how grueling my work had been this week, all in all it was a very positive post.   Then I came home from work.

Joe as usual asked me how my afternoon was and I did my usual complaining about things (although this particular afternoon I had more to complain about).  But I didn't go on too bad.  That was when Joe showed me what he had gotten in the mail from his mother.  Generally speaking I am a good person.  I have tried very hard to be a better person and much of that is due to my love for and relationship with Joe.  He is truly the best person I have ever met.  He is even tempered, tolerant, kind, giving and in my eyes, perfect.  For that reason among others I have always tried to protect him.  When someone does or says something that I feel might hurt his feelings, I take it personally.  I launch into protective mode and depending on what has been said or done, my reaction can range from just comforting him to striking out at the one that has offended/hurt him.  Today that someone was his mother.  She has never been happy with our relationship although she has always smiled and even when she has said something that wasn't very nice, she has had a smile plastered on her face.  Sort of like a snake waiting to strike.  Well last night I was the viper, and I struck at her - Loudly, with harsh, vulgar language.  She can't do or say something and expect a smile or using the word "lovingly" to mask the hateful, bigoted, ignorant speech that spews out of her. (I know, you're saying to yourself, don't hold back Jeff, say what you really mean).

She had mailed Joe a copy of her church bulletin with her "notes" that she had taken.  The topic, homosexuality and how her free will baptist church interprets the Bible.  Their bulletin also has a lovely printed part about how everyone should vote in favor of Amendment One, the so called Gay Marriage Ban amendment.  Somehow, at this  church they don't understand the separation of church and state.  A call to some government officials or attorneys might be in order to see about their tax status since they are clearly "breaking the rules" about said separation.  Below is the bulletin where you can read the bigoted rhetoric.  Just click on the photo to make larger so you can read.

But if that wasn't enough, she also included her notes that I mentioned above.  Since it may be hard for you to read, her handwriting is atrocious, I'll interpret for you below the photo.  Again, you can click on the photo to get a better look.

Title: The Consequences of Spurning God
Romans1: 22-32
Spurning God leads to...
1)Senseless idolatry (22-23)
2)Sexual perversion (24-27); preoccupation with sexuality (24-25); participation in homosexuality (26-27) God's intention, established at creation: creation of male and female (Gen. 1-2); Institution of marriage (Lev. 20:22, Lev 20: 132 (I Cor. 6: 9&10) (I Timothy 1:9-10)
3)Sweeping wickedness (25-32) 1. Don't be embarrassed by biblical teaching on any subject; 2. Maintain compassionate connections; 3. Be prepared to suffer for your convictions; 4. Don't joke about homosexuality; 5. Don't treat homosexuals disparagingly; 6. Confess any known shortcomings to your children & ask for forgiveness; 7. Provide healthy attention, touching, and loving to your children; 8. Love them, pray for them, & speak truth to them when they will hear it; 9. Through Jesus a homosexual can overcome and know that freedom from homosexual sin can come through faith in Christ & the Power of the Holy Spirit.

That's the text of her note in the bulletin.  But the biggest kicker is that she included a note to me and Joe saying that since we are studying Romans at our church and she was studying Romans too, she thought we would like these notes.   Like them?!?  It also would not have been such a blow to us had she not sent us a Congratulations card two weeks after we got married in Connecticut.  I guess hypocrisy goes along with bigotry.

Last night we met with our pastor and discussed today's happenings in detail, leaving out nothing, even my strong language.  As best he could he comforted us and we left knowing that we are children of God, that Jesus does love us, that the actions and words of some can not detract from our relationship and that we should continue to comfort one another.  Our faith has helped us reduce the stress from Joe's illness, a point his doctors have pointed out again and again, reduce stress - both emotionally and physically - stay positive and that is what we have tried to do for the last 1 1/2 years.   We don't need anyone else inserted their beliefs into our lives in an effort to drive a wedge between us or upset Joe to the point of tears and inability to sleep.

If there is nothing else that we hope people reading this can take from this experience is that proponents of North Carolina's proposed Amendment One to our states constitution will use this type of bigoted, hate filled speech as well as misguided and misused verses from the Bible.  The oddest part is that most people think of this amendment as only having to do with gay people.  Unfortunately, the part about gay marriage is only a small part of the amendment, the rest will adversely affect the straight population as well.  Before anyone goes to the polls to vote, at the very least, they should read the proposed amendment in full and it's possible consequences for all citizens of the State of North Carolina.  Not just listen to what might be preached from the pulpit of those churches and establishments that have their own agenda.  It's already against the law for gays to marry here.  Why mess with a change in our constitution?.

So it wasn't a good day.  But since I did start to post an upbeat message yesterday morning, I will close with it.

Joe is so happy that his pansies that were planted in December have finally sprouted flowers and the red bud in the backyard is now starting to bloom.  Joe loves flowers and color!

Thank you for the continued support and prayers.  We appreciate each and everyone of them and need them as well.

Friday afternoon update:  Now we have found out from Joe's brother that in a conversation he had with their sister that in her opinion, Joe and I are mentally ill, and of course "going to hell".  But that part is old news since she told Joe this morning on the phone that we were going to hell.  It's beginning to look like the female side of the Luptons put the "dys" in dysfunctional.  Needless to say, the conversation between Bill & Bettie (Joe's brother and sister) did not go well, leaving Bill shaken and requiring him to take the day off just to calm down.
Bill is my hero!