Another Friday Night and a Busy Weekend Ahead

It's been a good week with three trips to the YMCA, a therapy session and work hasn't been a pain.   But I'm really not much in the mood to type so I decided on a video instead.  Short and sweet!


Thank you to everyone who continues to reach out to me.  Love and appreciation to all of you.

February Chemo is Done!

Joe had his last chemo treatment at Duke for February this morning.  It was a quick one too!  We have a new record.  He was done at 9:45am and completely out of the parking deck before 10am even chimed on the clock.   Why can't they all be so quick and easy?  Oh well.  We (and by we I mean I) were a little concerned going into today's treatment because the labs from last week had shown that Joe's neutrophyl and white blood cell counts were once again very low.  Had they dropped much further, then today's treatment might not have happened.  They did drop just a tad, but the treatment went on.  We know that sometime in the future it is most likely that he will have to miss a treatment here and there as the chemo accumulates in his system.  Fortunately that hasn't happened yet and now with 13 days until his next treatment, his body will have a chance to build his numbers back up.  So we are good.

Last night at choir practice for PGUMC, Joe pulled out a regular number heard often in our Baptist roots for the choir to work on for a future anthem.  There is more than one former Baptist in the choir  (Debra in particular) that recognized it immediately.  Although the tempo would be considered a bit slow for a Baptist church, the choir really got into it.  Hopefully before it is the weekly anthem, Joe will have picked up the pace a little.  I think that would make Debra and me both happy.  I recorded the last verse from practice.



Not bad huh?   They gave it some gusto.  They are a wonderful group of people who are very near and dear to both Joe and me.

On Saturday Bettie and Brittany come to town to see Les Miserables.  First we will have lunch and then they will be off to the show and then Joe has a performance with TGMC in Raleigh later in the evening.  For me that means a day of reading, trimming the trees in the yard (maybe) and probably a nap or two (or three).  I just love Saturdays!

Continued thanks to all who offer up prayers for Joe and me.  We thank you and appreciate each and every one.

Round 2 of 3 for February

Today is Joe's 2nd round of Chemo for this month with the last one next week on the 16th.  He has had a pretty good week thus far, at least a busy one anyway.  On Tuesday night rehearsal for TGMC started again for the spring so once again he will have 3 nights in a row with an obligation.  What's the saying about "idle hands"?....well it shouldn't have anything to do with Joe.  Monday he has Durham Childrens Chorus from 4:30-6; Tuesday PGUMC staff meeting, piano lessons and TGMC chorus; Wednesday piano lessons and choir practice; Thursday chemo, piano lessons & Bible study; Friday just piano and then he normally has a free Saturday before being at church at 7:30a.m until after 12pm.  And this is his retirement schedule.

Joe got to his 7:30am appointment at Duke a little early and was checked in at the chemo infusion center at 8:28am for his 8:30am appointment.  There was time in between for him to go get breakfast in the food court.  He was out of chemo by 10a.m. which might be a record tying time.  I'll have to go back and see if he's made it out before by a minute or two.  Now he just get's to look forward to a couple of somewhat sleepless nights before getting back on track.  He has been battling a head cold for the last 10 days or so, but that seems to be better too.  All things considering, not a bad week (last nights 85-84 win over UNC didn't hurt either).

I hope everyone has a great weekend and thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Wanna See Something Gorgeous?

So do you?  Well just take a look at the photo below.

Isn't that tree gorgeous?  And yeah, Joe looks nice too! He's all dolled up in his tuxedo for the TGMC Christmas Concert.  Tonight it was in Durham and on Sunday it is in Raleigh at 3pm at St. Marks Episcopal Church.  Tonight's concert was wonderful.  The chorus sang beautifully and of course Joe was great on the piano.  If anyone doesn't have plans on Sunday afternoon, I highly recommend a drive to St. Marks.   Of course no show is complete without a wardrobe malfunction.  Tonight it was Joe.  After the show he comes walking up with half of his vest hanging off his shoulder.  It was very Janet Jacksonesque.  As soon as we got home I had to get the old needle and thread out so he doesn't cause a scandal tomorrow in Raleigh.

Thanks to everyone who came out tonight to support the chorus and see Joe, especially Doris, Scott & Ken. It was great to see all of you.  Joe and I continue to be very grateful for all the prayers and good wishes.  We are so grateful this holiday season for our wonderful friends.  Your support continues to mean so much to us.

Monday morning we will be off to Duke for Joe's 7:20am doctor and chemo appointments.  

Glad This Week is Drawing To An End

I’m so very glad that this week is almost over.  Now if the fumes in the house from the paint would dissipate,  I would be a great deal happier with a much smaller headache.  Poor Joe has been captive at the house since Thursday of last week.  Just him, Dolly (the cat) and a host of power washers, carpenters, and painters.  The exterior of the house is finished and looks great!  The family room, kitchen, loft and master bath also are all finished and about 95 % back to normal.  We still have to find a few things that Joe moved out of the rooms and doesn’t seem to remember where they were put, but I’m sure we will find them….eventually.  Today, the last room, our master bedroom should be completed.  Hopefully by the time I get home I can start reloading everything back in there.  Having a house painted is stressful, as was evident by our previous post earlier in the week.  However, the drama didn’t just stop with the patio furniture spread out over the newly seeded lawn.   Once they finished in the backyard, they took to putting all their equipment in the front yard even though we have a perfectly good driveway made of concrete that would work much better.  Each night I’ve come home and moved planters, trash cans and other items off the grass and back onto the concrete where they belong.  I’m still now quite sure why the 2 planters that sit at the sidewalk up to the front door had to be moved into the front yard since the closest painting job (the front porch/stoop) is a good 3-4 feet away.  All I can see are $$ signs from where we paid to have the lawn done a month ago.  To add insult to injury, Joe had taken his car into the VW dealership on Tuesday evening for service and they called him yesterday afternoon to let him know the VAST number of repairs that needed to be done and the cost.   Maybe I should capitalize the word COST.  It’s a 10 year old, almost 11 year old, car.  We wouldn’t even get 25% of the cost of repair if we were to try to sell it.  My lunchtime relaxation yesterday was spoiled by that news.  But since we have had issues in the past with the VW dealership here in Durham, Joe decided to call a VW repair shop called Autohaus that is very near PGUMC and get their opinion.  He’ll have to take it in Tuesday morning.  The only real issue with that right now is that the VW mechanic at the dealership said the only real worry with driving the car right now is that it could catch on fire.  Really?  That doesn’t seem so bad, right?  So theoretically, on the way to take the car to Raleigh Tuesday morning, the car could blow up.  That makes me feel much better.

So to summarize, what was to be a 1 day exterior paint job took 3, what was to be a 2 day interior paint job is now in it’s 4^th day, the newly seeded lawn which had turned so green and pretty now has big brown muddy spots where the new grass has been smushed to smithereens,  and the repair of Joe’s car will cost 4 times what the car is worth, if it doesn’t catch on fire first.

Now for the good stuff.  Joe has felt well, although he may have pulled a muscle in his back at some point this week, but he is completely mobile.  Monday’s chemo treatment at Duke will not include a trip to the doctor before, just blood drawn for labs and then off to the Chemo infusion center to wait.  Since we are one car down, either Joe will have to drive himself after dropping me off at work, or I will have to stay with him for the duration.  However, we’ll cross that bridge on Monday morning.  Joe had a good turnout for choir practice on Wednesday, which always lifts his spirits and then had a TGMC performance at First Presbyterian of Durham last night (Thursday).  That meant I went to Bible study alone, but had the chance to talk to and get better acquainted with some folks, (thanks Kelsey & Dave), and opened myself up for good natured jabbing from the group by telling a road rage story of mine.  I may have found a new radio station to soothe my morning commute as a result: 93.9KissFM Check it out!

Tomorrow will be a day of putting the house back in order and then Sunday an extra hour of sleep!  Everybody should enjoy that part.   I hope everyone has a great weekend.  Have fun but be safe.

Continued thanks to everyone for their continued prayers and support.  It is greatly appreciated.  Please also remember Mary & Bob Anderson.  Besides the cancer that Mary is dealing with they have had a death in their immediate family and they can use some extra prayers headed their way.

What Can You Say When Nothing "Eventful" Happens

This week has been one of those "uneventful" weeks that I like so much.  No doctors appointments at Duke, Joe has felt good all week, no trauma or drama, just a nice ordinary week doing ordinary things, going about ordinary lives.   The only problem with that is that there is nothing to report on the Blog and when I don't post, I get in trouble with some folks for not updating them.  So here goes:
Monday- No doctor appointment so Joe got to sleep in later.  Lawn people came and aerated and overseeded the lawn.   Joe had rehearsal with the Durham County Childrens Chorus in the late afternoon so I watered the lawn when I got home.
Tuesday- Joe had staff meeting at Pleasant Grove United Methodist Church (PGUMC) followed by working on getting his music ready for Sunday.  A couple of piano students in the afternoon, watering the lawn and TGMC practice Tuesday night.
Wednesday- A piano student, back at PGUMC working on his Sunday music, lunch with friends followed by watering the lawn and rehearsal that night with the choir.
Thursday- A series of complaining phone calls to me over his defective laptop, watering the lawn, a couple of piano students and then Disciple Bible Study at PGUMC Thursday night.
Friday- (today) Hopefully he has watered the lawn, then a piano student this afternoon and then finally a night at home.

Tomorrow, Joe will take Dolly over to PGUMC for the Blessing of the Animals while I get my flu shot.  After that we are off to Hope Mills to the Holland Family Reunion.  First one in many many years so hopefully there will be a decent turn out.  As long as the food is good and I know/recognize a few people, then we should be ok.

But see, nothing to report of any importance. Not that I am complaining, but I have to post something to keep others from complaining.

Thank you to everyone for their continued prayers and good thoughts for Joe.  We are both extremely appreciative.

Interpretations of Biblical Scripture Misused to Promote Bigotry

Although the intention of this website is to keep people informed with Joe’s health with regard to his pancreatic cancer, I also feel it is incumbent upon me to also keep those that care for Joe up to date on other aspects of his well-being.  I mention this only because there was one night this week, Monday evening September 26^th,  that due to circumstances, was very hard on him emotionally and therefore affected him in many ways, including physically.  It was evident on Tuesday that the events of the previous evening were weighing heavily on him, some of that due to the fact that he did not sleep well the night before both due to his chemo treatment earlier in the day and with a lot on his mind that night at bedtime.

Earlier in the day, Joe had shared an article on Facebook from Barry Saunders that had appeared in the News & Observer.  The article was in regard to last weekend’s NC Pride Parade and festivities that had been held in Durham and Duke’s East Campus.  Both Joe and I had attended, Joe performing with the TGMC, along with many of our friends and acquaintances.  The essence of the Barry Saunders article was that he didn’t understand what the conservative, right leaning, politicians and populace of North Carolina were so afraid of when it came to gay people.  As he put it in the opening sentence of the article, “I went to the Gay Pride parade and guess what, I still like women.  So what are all of ya’ll afraid of?”  The article was in response to the Amendment One that will appear on the May 2012 Ballot to “Ban Gay Marriage and Define a Marriage as between One Man and One Woman”.  The proposed question in the opening sentence appeared on Joe’s Facebook “Wall” along with a link to the article.  I do not know if the persons that then decided it was their place to give an opinion read the article or just read the 1^st sentence that appeared on the post.  However, when I opened my Facebook page just before shutting my computer down at work and saw the first comment, coming from a childhood friend that Joe considered a friend in both real life and Facebook, I took it as a personal attack on Joe and did not react well to it.  My response to this person, although not ugly, was not kind and some may say mean spirited, but I accept that.  It is hard for me to sit back calmly when I feel someone is attacking him.  Some might say I am “over protective”, but I can live with that label as well.

Here is the first comment (I have removed the name and only have initials):

MW:  perhaps they are concerned about the continued spread of aids, the moral corruption of their children, the further moral decline of society, and promotion of a reprobate sin, which will surely bring more of God's judgment upon us.

My first response was:

Jeff Holland Perhaps Mr. W you should practice the form of Christianity that believes in loving thy fellow man along with caring and forgiveness rather than judging, which if I'm not mistaken, is clearly stated in the Bible. Oh, wait, I was thinking of Christian values.

What followed was a series of Bible thumping from him and then another childhood friend of Joe’s joined in and then a former middle school student of Joe’s joined in.  What ensued were hours of a hell fire and damnation diatribe from Mr. W, Mr. F and Mr. S.

Here is just a sample, but let me warn you, some of it is quite ugly with respect to the way Mr. W interprets the Bible, at least as far as we were concerned.

MW:  Mr Holland, Jesus Christ preached against sin much harder than I ever have, and warned about hell more than He promoted heaven. I judge no one, God's word has already performed that task. And when one truly loves, he is more than willing to take the heat for calling sin --- sin. What kind of love refuses to call to someone's attention to the fact they are about to jump off a cliff and find themselves in a bottomless pit? What kind of a loving parent would refuse to warn their child not to run out in the street? What kind of parent would not try to save a child who dares to run out into the street. The problem with most folk today, they do not understand true love -- they define love as lust.

MW : And may I add, any movement or church that condones the sin of homosexuality, which claims to be Christian is defined by the Bible as apostate, false, dead in sin, and reprobate. I love you, but I detest your sin. And the love of God would say, repent of your sin, receive the One True Christ, be justified, sanctified, and transformed into a "new creature in Christ." That's would be defined as true biblical love -- that which is willing to tell you the truth. By the way, I was brought up with Joe in the Baptist church, but I will not compromise with the Word of God and waywardness. I pray God the Holy Spirit convict, convince, and illuminate your mind to the truth of His Word, lest you become an eternal reprobate.

Jeff Holland : Mr W, let's agree to disagree. Having been brought up in the Baptist Church I heard more than enough of the type of speeches you give. As an adult I made my decision to remove myself from the hate speech and seek out God's love in a different environment, one that is accepting of the fact that all people are not the same, but that all people are due the same basic human rights. Continue your hell fire and damnation diatribes against any that disagree with your personal as well as religious points of view. Although you say you judge no one, your original response to Joe's posting about " continued spread of aids, moral corruption, moral decline of society and promotion of reprobate sin" seems judgmental to me. Possibly you should have been a psychoanalyst, since you seem to be able to diagnose "most folk" without having met "most folk". Maybe next time, you will wait to be asked for your opinion to one of Joe's posts before spouting off.

MW:  God has blessed you with the free will to choose and whatever lifestyle you choose to live is up to you -- just don't expect those of us who love God and believe the Bible to approve of your sin and don't seek to ask us to help you justify. Sleep with who you will, have as much sex as you like, (heterosexual or homosexual); but mark this down in red -- judgment day will come on all sin, including the sin of homosexuality, according to God -- not this preacher. Yes, God is loving and merciful when we choose His way (i spent 10 years as a drunk and addict before God cleaned me up). When we reject His way -- we reject love, grace and mercy --- leaving us with wrath and judgment.

RS: ‎1st Corinthians Chapter 6 verse nine KJV

MW:  that verse is very, very clear RS - and it's not just a Baptist Bible, it applies to all

Jeff Holland  Sir, I have not asked for your approval, nor do I desire it. I have put my life and faith in Jesus Christ and only desire judgment from him.

MW:  I am glad to hear you have put your life and faith in Jesus Christ. If that is truly the case, God has now given you the power to forsake and overcome the sin of homosexuality. Paul referred to this as "putting off the old self...corrupted ...,with the lusts of deceiit..." and put on the new man created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Ephesians 4:22-24 Paul said, "if any man be in Christ, he is a New Creature, old things have passed away." Forsake you sin and become the witness and testimony that Christ has called you to be. "He who loves Me, will keep my commandments."

MW: ‎1 Corinthians 6:11 goes on to say --- "and such (homosexuals verse 9) WERE some of you." If you have truly put your fatih and trust in Christ, Paul says you "WERE" but are no longer a homosexual. That being the case, you now need to repent and forsake that sin, so you can start living a life of righteousness and holiness. In my case, I was once a drunk, I was a drug addict, I was a fornicator, an adulterer, but thank God, today I am a new creature and no longer have to live that way. I am free from the BONDAGE of sin. I am now "washed, justified, and sanctified." My sanctification is continually compelling me to put away the sins of the flesh.

Jeff Holland Mr. W  and Mr. S : As with most Christian faiths, except Southern Baptists and a few other Evangelical churches, the KJV hasn't been used for many years due to the vast quantity of translation errors discovered by Biblical scholars, therefore, I would have to disagree with YOUR interpretation of 1 Cor 6:9-11. In my Bible (the NRSV), homosexuals are never mentioned. As for Eph 4:22-24 it states, "You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness". That sirs, I have done. But please, as I stated earlier, I have neither asked for nor desire your approval, therefore, this discussion is over for me. Have a nice day.

Of course it did not end there.  Especially once the other former childhood friend put his 2 cents worth in:

MF:  Jeff Holland, you are one prejudiced bastard.

As you can see, the type of comments deteriorated.  Joe finally posted a response expressing his sadness that 2 childhood friends and a former student would feel the need to condemn the 2 of us so profoundly and in such a public way.  He asked  all of them to please stop and to consider his response the last communication between them. 

Joe Lupton:  MW, yes we were friends when we were young and growing up in Roanoke Baptist Church and I thought we could continue as FB friends; however, I have never made any condemning and bigoted statements on anyone's FB page. Yes, people can disagree; however, the venom that spills out of your mouth does NOT reflect the God that I have loved and served throughout my life. "To love another person is to see the face of God" is from Les Miz & I wish more could abide by this instead of forcing such condemning views upon all of the world.  In my dealings with pancreatic cancer I have come to put all of my energy into loving the world and praying for all to have love in their hearts. I feel that my life right now needs positive influences and not such negativity as you present. Please consider this our last communication. (MF, I don't appreciate your "liking" on MW’s post even if you do agree with him. RS, when you were a student of mine, I tried to treat everyone equally and tried never to condemn anyone. I had hoped that you had learned something from me.

Of course that didn’t happen as all of them continued on for hours.  Joe has since removed the entire exchange from his Facebook wall.

On a happier note, many of our friends did chime in showing support for us and expressing their opinion on the posts from MW, RS and MF.  Many, many, many thanks to Mark Potratz, Stacy Potratz, Amos Brown, Chelsea Brown, Challie Sullivan and Lola Elliott Hugh for their support that night.  At some point, Joe intends to post the entire conversation as a Note on his Facebook wall just to show the type of hate speech and condemnation that we deal with continually, especially with the proposed Amendment One to the Constitution of North Carolina coming up on the May ballot.  We are hopeful that level headed and intelligent people from all sides, liberal, conservative, progressive, right-wing and left-wing can see how divisive and detrimental passage of this Amendment One will be to the entire State of North Carolina.

Today Joe is feeling better about things as the events of Monday become more distant but I know that it will be a long time before that night is forgotten by either of us.