Happy Holidays

There are so many things that I would like to openly write about on here and then there are so many things that I probably should have kept to myself and I wrote waaaayyyy to openly about in the past.

So in an effort to be transparent about the things I should write about and mum about the things I shouldn't, here goes.  There have been biopsies, CT scans, ultrasounds, a prostatic MRI, a complete body bone scan, multiple DRE's, and more blood tests than I can remember over the last few months. I have had PSA tests run with different labs, each with "unique" results.  I have been examined by I think 6 different doctors.  Bottom line, my numbers are good right now and I am foregoing active treatment for the time being.  I already have several follow up doctor appointments for more blood tests & DRE's in the coming months.  Should any test result show a shift, we are ready to pull the trigger on radiation.  I've been given all the information my meager little brain can absorb and at the point in time, when radiation is necessary, I will most likely go with the brachytherapy option instead of the EBRT.  I feel good about the decision and at the very least, during the holiday season (yes, I said HOLIDAY and I'm NOT waging a war on Christmas), I can just try to relax and enjoy without trips back and forth to the Duke Cancer Center.

Though some may think I'm being fool hardy and should just go ahead and have the surgery (yes, I've heard that from more than one person...some people seem more than ready to tell me I'm wrong), I'm just not ready at this point to alter my anatomy and accept the repercussions.  If it becomes absolutely warranted, then of course I would.  But right now, it is not warranted.

But here we are just before Thanksgiving and just around the corner is Christmas.  This year I am going to take a few days vacation just before Christmas like I did in days of old.  This year it will be a return trip to Williamsburg.  I'm sure I'll come back with plenty of pictures of doors.  (If anyone has ever been, the doors and more specifically the wreaths on the doors at Christmas traditionally have been quite beautiful)  But door photos are not the reason for the trip.  The reason, I need a BREAK!

Unless something really unexpected or maybe something wonderful happens, I will probably forego any posts until such time as there is real news.  So, if you don't see anything on here, don't worry, that is a good sign that things are going well....or I can post photos of doors??????

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Advent season.  Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Diverticulitis, BRAT, and McDonalds

So it has been another couple of weeks since my last post.  So much and yet nothing has happened.  First, I finished my 2000 mg of antibiotics per day for the prescribed 10 days and the pain remained.  I had another doctors appointment and he sent me for a full abdominal and pelvic CT scan.  In typical Dr.K fashion, he got me the results pronto so I didn't have to wait and wait.  The results were good however.  No masses, no obstructions.  I just needed to be more patient with waiting for the pain to go away.  Slowly but surely it has lessened and it is reasonably tolerable now.  The positive from this was that being on the BRAT diet for two weeks pushed me below my goal weight!  However, I didn't immediately get the McDonalds French fries I had promised myself.  I had to wait an extra week before indulging....and they were good.  On a negative note though, not being able to go to the Y during this time has now allowed me to put 3 pounds back on. I have been able to hit the treadmill a couple of evenings this week, but only walking, no running.  Right now I am comfortable laying down and standing.  Sitting is still uncomfortable.  But even that is better now than this time last week.

Saturday we will be having a Holland & Lupton family get together in Greenville at Joe's mother's house.  Just a little afternoon get together for lunch and conversation. Phyllis, Aimee & Sara are coming from Hope Mills and of course Bettie's family will be there at her mothers.  I'm looking forward to it (except for the driving there and back - that's 3+ hours sitting...not my favorite thing right now).

Sunday will be church in the morning, a couple of hours of the envisioning team in the afternoon and then Homeland that night.  Love that show.

Enough rambling.  Time for a little TV, read a couple of chapters in my book and then to sleep.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  

Peace.

Cough, Cough, Cough

Still no real change today. He's had two blood transfusions and getting fluids. Today's labs revealed Joe is anemic. Appetite still not good but is eating a little at each mealtime. Right now he has developed a persistent cough which is rough for him trying to sleep. They gave him pills last night and today for it, but he has had his daily quota of that so they gave him some robitussin type stuff tonight but it isn't working.

The CT scan of his head showed no abnormalities (only thing there was a brain). He also had an ultrasound of his right calf to make sure there were no signs of a blood clot. His calf has been aching and it was a little swollen during the late morning so they checked to just be sure. There were no signs of a clot forming.

Unless he can stop coughing, he won't be sleeping tonight.

Unless he can stop coughing, I won't be sleeping tonight.

Things That Go Bump In the Night

At a little before 5:00 am this morning, here in Duke Hospital, Joe woke up and had to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I was asleep and did not realize he had gotten up, until I heard the loud bang. Joe had gotten dizzy and fell in the bathroom. He hit his head in three places and they have now taken him to get a head CT scan just to rule out any damage. No one is to blame but he is now under no circumstances to get out of bed without assistance. Needless to say it was a rude awakening for me and I'm a bit rattled by it. Amazing how many nurses can appear so quickly. Within 20 seconds of me hitting the call button there were 7 nurses in here. No long after that, the doctor appeared and ordered the scan upon examination of his head. Things that go bump in the night are real!.....and scary! Anyone have a spare tranquilizer??? Sigh........

It's My Blog and I'll Whine....errrr...Write If I Want To

First off, the good news. We did hear from the oncologist today about the CT Scan results. He was specifically looking for any visible sign of what might have caused Joe's severe back pain from earlier in the week: a spreading of the cancer to the bone or surrounding tissue, a pocket of fluid build up, or a new area of infection. Short answer; none of the above were found. The scan was clear of anything new. Probably just an old fashioned backache from lack of mobility, a wrong turning motion or a pulled muscle. Either way, nothing to garner any further attention or action. Very good news from my point of view. Also, as of today, Joe is off his antibiotics completely. No oral or infused antibiotics. The last time he could say that was on October 28th. YAY!!

Now my whining ( I know, two posts in a row but it felt so good the last time). How to drive on I-40 or any interstate. Those of you that were with us in Disciple Bible Study last year and earlier this year know that I have a few road rage issues. But they are not my fault. If others would just drive correctly I would be fine. Who out there knows how the flow of traffic should be on a three lane interstate? The correct answer is that the slowest cars/trucks/motorized vehicles should be in the far right lane, the fastest cars/trucks/motorized vehicles in the far left lane and those that are driving at speeds in between fast and slow in the middle lane. If you are in the far left lane and the traffic in the middle lane is going faster than you, then move over to the middle or right lanes. If you are in the far left lane and there are vehicles lined up behind you, tailgating you, move over to the middle or far right lane. In other words, if you are impeding the flow of traffic because you are driving in the "fast lane" and are not going "fast" - MOVE OVER!
I know many people tell themselves that if the speed limit is 70 and they are doing 70 then they can be in the left lane. However, there are those of us who drive faster than the posted speed limit, especially on their way to work in the morning, and would find it beneficial if you did the posted speed limit in a different lane. Try 70 in the middle lane, you'll like it. I leave the house at 7:40 am every morning to drive the 1.5 miles to get to I-40, then 10 miles on I-40, and the approximately .75 mile from Exit 266 to my office in Chapel Hill. It takes every minute allotted to get there by 8 am. If there is someone in the far left or middle lanes dragging along, then I am late. I am the first person at my office. No one else is there for 30 minutes. I have no one to vent to if I have encountered difficulties. Do you know how frustrating it is to be frustrated and have no one to vent your frustration to?? Do you? I do. Practically every weekday. So next time you are in the "fast lane" and you see a silver Suzuki Grand Vitara with a DUKE license plate on the front in your rear view mirror, either speed up or move over, or you will be contributing to road rage frustration.

Wow. That felt good, but not as good as knowing that Joe's issues this week are not cancer related. We even went out to dinner tonight to Outback (Joe had never been to an Outback....hard to believe) and stuffed ourselves silly right down to the greasy bloomin' onion...we may both be throwing up tonight for a whole new reason!

Thanks for all the words of support and the prayers. We are extremely grateful.

A Quick Trip to the Duke Cancer Center Today

The last few days have been miserable ones for Joe. His back pain has increased in intensity each day. The pain has caused constant nausea and bouts of vomiting. He finished the infused antibiotic on Tuesday and had the picc line removed the same day. He spent much, and by much I mean all except for maybe 2 hours, in bed Tuesday with a heating pad on his back and taking his pain meds. He hardly ate anything and what he did eat did not stay with him very long. In the wee hours of this morning he got up and took 2 more pain meds without eating and of course within an hour or so, he was throwing up again. (See post earlier this year about eating when he takes his pain meds....a must do!). Joe had called the oncology triage number on Tuesday and spoken to our oncology nurse. She told him which of his pain meds should be most effective and to call again today if he wasn't any better. Well obviously this morning he wasn't so he called back. At first they thought he should go see his primary physician but an appointment there would not be possible until Thursday. Daryl, our nurse, called back a little later and said that Dr. Zafar wanted him to come in for a CT scan and had scheduled an appointment for 1pm today. So I left work at noon, picked Joe up and off to the Duke Cancer Center we went. We won't have the results for days but Dr. Zafar should have seen the results by days end and should at least know if the pain is coming from something cancer related. That is the biggest fear. We already know that one of the common symptoms of pancreatic cancer is a specific type of back pain but thus far, the area where Joe's pain has been is not typical. But time will tell.

One positive is that this afternoon the pain has eased off some. He was even willing to walk back to the parking deck after we left the DCC instead of waiting for me to drive around and pick him up. After stopping to get him some lunch, I dropped him off at home and went back to the office. Apparently he felt well enough after he had his lunch to make a quick trip to the grocery store for a few items. He even had dinner ready when I got home. Although his back is still bothering him, it is obvious that he is better. Hopefully this isn't temporary and he will continue to improve. The last time his back was hurting really bad it only lasted a couple of days. We are now on day 4 so I am very hopeful it has run it's course.

While I have your attention I have one pet peeve I have to get off my chest. Parking decks and the way people drive in them. I spend a lot of time in parking decks. Weekly at the one at the cancer center and then in the last few months, the visitor deck at Duke Hospital. What is it about a parking deck that frightens people so? I'm assuming it is fright that causes them to drive at a maximum speed of 2 mph while in the deck. And what is worse, why am I always behind them? Do they see me coming? For goodness sake people, the empty spaces are easy to see without crawling along. Some of us would like to just park and go inside. There are only a limited supply of spaces right by the elevator. I know we all want one, but you can see from 50 feet away if there is one. You don't have to approach them so slow. I am not saying that I think you should speed through the deck, but a solid 15 mph, still slow, but moving would help out those of us with someone sick or who have somewhere to be because, yes, even when leaving, I still get behind the car that is deathly afraid someone will back out and they won't see them in time to stop. Believe me however, at 2 mph, you will have plenty of time to stop. So if your reflexes are so slow as to make you afraid to drive in the deck any faster than a snail, consider calling a taxi. For the love of all that is gracious and holy, if you don't, you will be the reason that I end up in hell.
There, I feel better.

Radiology waiting room (actually just a small part of it) at the Duke Cancer Center

Good News, Bad News

Or not so great news, but not terrible news.  Trying to put a positive spin on today's doctors appointment at the Duke Cancer Center to get the CT scan results from Sunday.  The not so great news, at least a couple of the lesions on Joe's liver have increased in size.  The better news is that the tumor in the pancreas seems to have shrunk just a bit.  The growths in the liver are not large, but growth none the less.  Dr. Zafar and Leigh Howard were hopefull that the new 3 chemo infusion regimen would show better results and therefore he is switching Joe to another regimen.  Another reason for the change, all the fevers that Joe has been having.  Although they can't difinitively point to the chemo, they can't rule it out as a side effect.  Therefore it's on to a new treatment. 

Initially this one will be every Monday, about 2 hours of infusion time.  If Joe tolerates that well, then it can be administered once every three weeks as one 6 hour infusion.   So we will start with the weekly and possibly move up to the longer treatment.  Needless to say, once every 3 weeks would work better scheduling wise, but if he doesn't have a positive reaction with regard to side effects, then a massive 6 hour dose might not be a good alternative.  Only time will tell. 

Of course we are somewhat bummed.  But since it wasn't all bad news, we will just forge forward.  Joe seems to have taken it in stride (he usually does better than me).  One other positive aspect, no more home infusions.  So I won't have to go off and have a hissy fit when the home infusion nurse comes in the room Monday...because she won't have any need to!  I can't speak for Joe but I think he is just really tired.  Tired of bad news.  Tired of not feeling well.  I know that I am tired.  Tired of many things!

Many, many thanks for the well wishes and words of concern.  Your prayers and words of encouragement are truly helping both of us.

Oops, I Did It Again!

I forgot to amend yesterday's post to include the fact that Joe DID come home last night. He did have to wait until after dinner was served at Duke so he did at least get one more meal out of them. They have put him on an antibiotic for 5 days so we shall see. He did run a little fever this afternoon but a couple of Tylenol took care of it within an hour.

He has an appointment with Dr. Zafar or Leigh Howard on Thursday morning. A sort of "follow up & get CT scan results" visit. Not thrilled with the wait but I know they prefer for his regular oncologist to give the results rather than the oncologist on duty at the hospital. Nevertheless, it's no fun waiting. But I should focus on the positive. Joe is home, feeling well and had a good day. I'll take that and run with it! We even had a rainbow over our house this evening.

Duke Hospital Visit #2 for the Week

Saturday night/Sunday morning around 12:30am, Joe woke me up from a very heavy dead sleep telling me he needed the quilt.  It took me a while to figure out what he was talking about as we had plenty of cover on the bed.  He was having chills and wanted the quilt that we bought in Fayetteville years ago.  I got up, got the quilt, put it on his side of the bed only because honestly it was not cold in the room and then went and got the thermometer.  I took his temp and it was 100.8 so he took 2 Tylenol (or generics actually).  I then went back to bed and to sleep.  I awakened around 6am when Joe's alarm clock went off for him to get up to get ready for church.  He then told me he was still not feeling well and wouldn't be able to go.  He then called Jay and told him.  I got up, got the themometer and took his temp again.  This time, 101.1.  Joe quietly says that he also took some Tylenol around 4:30-5am.  I fussed at him that that was too soon after taking it at 12:30am, but admittedly, he didn't know what time it was and thought it was earlier in the night.  He then said he would just wait to call the clinic on Monday to speak with Dr. Zafar or Leigh.  I then went in the bathroom, took my shower, came out, dressed and packed 2 small bags.  One with his underwear and comfortable sleep wear and one for me.  I then picked up my bag and told him I would be downstairs when he was ready, that we were not waiting until Monday and were going to Duke that morning.  He mumbled something incoherrent and I went on downstairs.  By 7:20am he was showered and changed and had put his toiletries in his bag and we were off.  We arrived at Duke around 7:45am and were in an exam room before 8am.  While in the emergency department he got fluids, had a full CT scan and had blood drawn for labs and cultures (again).  During the stay there, his temp peaked at one point at 102.1.  It was at that point that they said he was being admitted.  We were up in a room by 4pm and settled having finally eaten around 5pm.  By 6pm however, his chills returned and by 6:45pm his temp had risen from the almost normal at 4pm to 101.7.  At that point, he got some more Tylenol to help.  The rest of the night was uneventful.

The CT scan results did not show any reason for the fevers.  The results as far as tumor growth or spreading, we will have to wait on until we see or hear from Dr. Zafar or Leigh.  So far today he has run a low grade fever in the 99.4 range.  That isn't considered a fever in hospital terms.  After dinner tonight, unless he has another fever spike, they will send him home with antibiotics as a precautionary measure. 

He looks very weak but says other than fatique, he feels fine.  He ate a good breakfast and lunch and maybe will be able to squeeze one more meal out of Duke.  Only time will tell this evening.  The plan is for me to call before I leave work to find out if he's coming home tonight or if I should go by our house and get more overnight things and feed Dolly.  The fevers are a mystery.  One that everyone, even the nurses & doctors are worried about but can't pinpoint a cause.

Thanks for all the inquiries, prayers and outpouring of love.  Both of us greatly appreciate everything that our friends are doing for us.  You are the best!

'twas the night before......

...CT Scan results and there were lots of whispers, loud talking, television playing, typing and anything to detract from the elephant in the room--the results.  Joe had his labs and the CT scan on Wednesday morning.  Everything went fine and on time.  By 9am he was back home and relaxing with Dolly.  We haven't really talked about it but it's there, we both know it and the anxiety level just creeps higher as the night falls.

We did take an anxiety break Wednesday night and took a drive down the new 540 before the toll begins on Thursday.  I'm sure everyone is surprised at us taking such a thrilling adventure on the night before we get the scan results.  Yes it was an amazing experience.  We were both overwhelmed with excitement. We came back home exhilarated and astonished at all the fun we had.  Imagine, riding down 6 miles of highway without paying for it.  It's hard to match that when it comes to having fun!! :) (for anyone confused, that was filled with sarcasm).

But after a very long night, a VERY long mostly sleepless until this morning just prior to the alarm screaming in my ear, we're off to the Duke Cancer Center for the appointment with Dr. Zafar and/or Leigh Howard at 8:20 am this morning.

It may seem like it was a lonely walk for Joe over to the Cancer Center but I just had to hang back for the photo op.  I ran to catch up afterwards.  We're all checked in and waiting. 

The waiting is over and the results were anything but what we were hoping for.  Since the last scan 6 weeks ago, the tumor in the pancreas has grown approximately 20% more and is now at 3.8cm.  Also, several lesions have appeared on his liver, the largest of which is 1.7cm.  What this means, time to change to a much more aggressive chemo treatment.  First up, Joe will have a port inserted next Wednesday and then the first treatment will be Monday, August 13th.  No more of the 1 hr treatments.  The new procedure will last 5-8 hrs every 2 weeks with the addition of a 46 hr pump that he will go home with and then Home Health Care will come disconnect on Wednesday.  There are three drugs involved: Irinotecan, Oxaliplatin and 5-Fluorouracil (in case anyone wants to Google them).  The side effects will be more severe so we will just have to monitor and adjust accordingly.

Of course we are a little overwhelmed right now, and not in a good way.  It will probably take a few days or maybe longer for it to really sink in.  Numb is the word of the day I guess.  Joe has just gone back for some lab work in prep for next weeks port insertion and I'm sitting here typing and crying.  Strangely, here at the Cancer Center, that isn't unique behavior.

Joe came out from labs and we went downstairs to the food court so he could have breakfast since he hadn't eaten all day. A few more tears flowed from both of us down there as well.  It was while there that Joe had the realization that since he wasn't having chemo today he would have to pay for parking.  As if our day wasn't bad enough, now he has to fork over $3.00. 

To all those who have reached out to us with prayers and support, we thank you and hope you will continue to help us.  You are loved by each of us and greatly appreciated.

#2 of 3 is in the Books!

Reasonably quick and easy day for Joe today (easy for me to say, huh?). His labs appointment was for 7:40am this morning with chemo scheduled for 8:20am. Not much time in between given that the lab work results have to be in, reviewed by docs, prescription sent to pharmacy and then chemo sent from pharmacy to infusion (however, the infusion center has its own pharmacy now - YAY Duke Cancer Center). But even if labs are done exactly on time, that's still only 40 minutes for all that to happen. Or not happen, which is the norm.

Needless to say, it didn't get done in 40 minutes. However, Joe did get to talk with a fellow former Jordan High teacher and current friend Fran Gordon, for about 40 minutes. Fran is undergoing treatment herself. Joe did finally get back in chemo around 9:39am ( I know that's not an "around" number but that's when he sent me a text that he was in the back). Today the nurse had some difficulty getting him hooked up and it took three jabs with the needle before she got it in. Other than that though, the rest was smooth sailing.

Next Wednesday Joe has his CT scan which will determine our next course of action. No growth, continue the current path,...growth, possibly a change towards a more aggressive treatment. But that's next week. Today he did very well except that the treatment rooms are very cold. He always stops at the garden to thaw. Today that was a very short time.

As always, thank you to everyone for your words of support and continued prayers.

P.S. I do still have some purple "Fight Pancreatic Cancer" bracelets/wristbands to give away. No cost. Let me know if you would like one.

In A Mood

For the last 5 or 6 days I’ve been in a mood that I can’t quite describe.  It’s not a bad mood, though not a good mood.  It’s not a down mood, but not really feeling up either.  Maybe just a blue funk?   Feeling sorry for myself for no apparent reason?  Feeling out of sorts?  I really don’t know how to describe, but not just myself.  Not that I’m the most upbeat of people in the first place, but for the last few days, I’ve really not wanted to be around anyone.  That presents it’s own problems since I work in an office full of people.  Work is so-so.  We are getting closer to our target move date, but there are already rumors of it being delayed by a little bit.  The target date is June 29^th, or so that is what I’ve been told and that is the date that I have given to the phone company, our phone equipment people, our IT person, Time Warner Cable and various other vendors.  If it does get delayed, I’ll have to just contact them all over again.  At this point I wouldn’t mind at all if it were delayed by a week or so.  The following week is the 4^th, so we will be closed a day that week and then the following week Joe and I will be at the beach.  I don’t think I would mind one bit if the move happened without me there!  Come to think of it, it would probably be a good thing.  I’m always swamped after a week off anyway, might as well add hooking up my computer and getting my files straightened out to the work load.  All of that has contributed to a general feeling of apprehension, but that really isn’t the “mood” I’m feeling either. 

I knew something wasn’t quite right on Saturday evening when I was mowing the backyard.  I really don’t like mowing, but for some reason, Saturday wasn’t dreadful.  However, I did find myself crying the entire time I was mowing.  Not boo-hooing or sobbing, just a slow steady trail of tear drops running from my eyes the entire time.  My mind was going to all kinds of bad places so I know that’s the reason for the tears, but I don’t know what caused my mind to go there in the first place.  Ever since that night, I’ve just not had any interest in much of anything.  Even watching the premier of “True Blood” Sunday night wasn’t fulfilling.

I know I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I need the last couple of weeks, so maybe it’s just some fatigue setting in.  I’m taking my meds, so that’s not it.  Joe is doing well and feeling well, so that shouldn’t be it either, but I’m sure Joe’s illness does fall in there somewhere.  That’s something that is never out of my mind.  He has this week off from chemo but next week he has his bi-monthly CT Scan.  That usually puts me on edge.  At least this time the scan is on Wednesday and he sees the doctor on Thursday.  No days of worrying and wondering.  Just 1 day!  But that is more than a week away and was almost 2 weeks away when the “funk” started.  I’ve had bad days in the past couple of years, but not any that have gone on for so long.  Maybe it’s just old age.  Maybe it’s just from being fat.  Maybe it’s just me being a new me.  A sad, don’t want to be around anyone and would rather just be left alone me.  Maybe I’m just bored.  Maybe I’m just being more of a whiner than usual, although I don’t think that is actually possible.  Just ask Joe! 

Speaking of Joe, he got some bad news on Tuesday.  His friend, Liz Werner, from growing up in Roanoke Rapids that was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late winter, died on Monday night.  Her cancer had spread to her bones and throughout her body so she had made the decision about 1 ½ to 2 months ago to stop treatment and just try to enjoy what time she had left.  The doctors helped keep her pain level at a minimum so she could function and she did lots of things she had put off during the last 2 months.  Even though we knew this was going to happen with the advanced stage of her cancer and her stopping her treatment, it still shook Joe up to lose a friend, and especially to lose Liz to pancreatic cancer.  Please say a special prayer for Liz’s family and friends during this time and please include Joe in there too.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support and prayers.  Joe and I are truly blessed to have so many people helping us.

Another Day at Duke

Well the night proved to be somewhat restless sleeping. But it was worth it. The CT scan showed no growth of the tumor. That is one full year since Joe started this chemo regiment with no growth. That is incredible news. The not so great news is that the pain and swelling he has been experiencing in his right leg might be due to a blood clot. Therefore, right after his chemo treatment today we will go to Duke south for him to have an ultrasound on his leg. If there is a blood clot, he will have to go on shots of blood thinner 2 times per day. Fun fun! I will update after we get the ultrasound results. Even with this "glitch", we are reveling in the no growth of the tumor.

Update to come soon.

Ultrasound was done at 11:48am and we are now out.  There is no blood clot but we don't know what the issue might be yet.  The ultrasound technician couldn't come right out and say, but he did tell Joe that if it was a blood clot he would have to go back over to the clinic to see the doctor.  Then he told Joe he could go home, which means no clot.  Maybe it is just a pulled muscle in his calf or something.  I'm sure if anything does show on the ultrasound that is of any concern, the doctor will let us know.   Right now we will revel in the CT scan results and relax!

Thank you for all the good wishes and prayers!!!!

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.....

That is the sound of the clock as the hands slowly work their way towards tomorrow morning. Ok, actually we don't have a single clock in the house that actually makes a tick tock sound. They are all digital like in most households but in my mind I can almost hear the hands moving very slowly. Tomorrow we get the results of Joe's CT Scan from Monday. It's been a long 4 days. Trying to think about sleep, but I know that the moment I lay down my eyes will pop open. We hate the night before results. This is scan number 4 or 5? I've lost track. Oh well, I'll give bed a try...maybe watch a little Netflix on the iPad (of course I do that every night).

Will report in the morning once we have results.

And Now We Wait.............

Yep, that's what we do now. Today Joe had his scheduled CT Scan at the Duke Cancer Center. Although getting his lab work done took awhile, once that was done he was in and out of radiology very quickly. The only problem now is that we have to wait until Thursday morning to get the results when we go for his regular oncology appointment and chemo infusion. It will be a long 4 days. But we've made it through the waiting for results from past scans, so there's no reason this should be any different. But those of you that know me know I'm not a very patient person. That added to the emotional roller-coaster that Joe and I have been on the last month with his mother and sister, makes for some anxious times.

Joe did finally speak with his mother today, but it wasn't the conversation he had wanted to have, and he hadn't planned on having one at all with her today. However, when the mail came, lo and behold, there was a letter from her (actually more like a series of rambling notes) but also included in the envelope was the bulletin from the Baptist church that Joe grew up in. It seems that his mother visited there recently, she always returns to Roanoke Rapids to have her taxes done so that's probably when she last attended, and felt the need to include the bulletin. And guess what was in it....c'mon, take a guess.....If you guessed an appeal to the congregation to go vote in favor of North Carolina's Amendment One on May 8th, then you're a winner. The same crap that was in the bulletin from her church in Greenville that she sent, and claimed ignorance of - "I never would have sent it to you had I seen that in there" - she goes and sends from another church. Joe called her up to tell her to stop and her response was once again, "I didn't read that in there, I only sent it because your name is on their prayer list". Really? You expect me to believe that as much as you pour over every little detail of every little thing, that on 2 separate occassions, you didn't notice the Amendment One political pleas, and on those same 2 occassions you just happen to send the bulletins? I might be naive about some things, but I'm not stupid. I know passive aggressive when I see it, hear it or read it.

I've written several letters to her over the past few weeks and this past weekend, Joe sent her a letter as well. We had thought that his first communication with her would be via letter, but when her letter arrived, Joe took the bull by the horns and called her. According to him, it wasn't as hostile a conversation as the last one he had with her, but it wasn't a pleasant one either. I wish I had the nerve to post the letter itself. If it wasn't so incredibly sad what effect this has had on Joe, it would almost be comical. He did post a photo of the section from the bulletin on Facebook today. It was quick on getting comments too.

I want to take a moment and switch topics, if I may. I want to thank some people in our lives who have been especially thoughful and caring. I could just say the entire congregation at Pleasant Grove United Methodist Church, as everyone has been wonderful but there are some specific people that have truly become incredibly special to me for a variety of reasons. You are the people who weekly take the time to come up to me and speak, shake my hand, lend an ear, make an inquiry and offer a prayer and a smile. Having Chelsea and Jeanette bring the babies over and letting me get some sugar from them. I love each of you for your caring. I didn't think I could fall in love with such a large group of people, but it has become so easy because all of you have been so wonderful to me. Thank you.

Thank Goodness It's Thursday...

Not that I'm wishing my life away, but I do wish it was Friday already.  It's been a long week, both at work and at home.  The biggest hurdle for me this week has been my allergies.  The biggest hurdle for Joe has been fatigue and swelling in his right calf along with some pain.  Yesterday he said it was feeling better but that will be something on the radar for his oncology appointment next Thursday morning at Duke.  During each exam they are always checking his feet and ankles for swelling, so I am assuming this might be a normal reaction, but none the less we will be sure and mention to the doctor.  This has been his week off from chemo until the next round of 3 weeks starts next week.  Also next week he has a new CT scan to check on the status of the tumor.  The scan is Monday but we won't know the results until Thursday (April 26) at his regular appointment.  I like it much better when there is only a day or 2 before we get results.  Four days is just torture.  Talk about anxiety!

But enough about him, let's talk about me!   Just kidding.   However, at work it looks like a decision on where we are moving our office has been determined.  The new office location is just about 1/2 mile up the road but there is so much to be done.  Besides just the physical move, there are a myriad of other things to get done:  phones, internet, copier/printer set up, moving the server, installation of the new desks & cubicles, new lobby furniture & furnishings, new reception desk and on and on and on.  I made more phone calls yesterday than I have in the last 2 weeks combined.  I talked to so many service folks that when they started calling me back, I didn't know who was who.  I thought at one point I was talking to the IT guy and it turned out to be the phone guy and then I thought I was talking to the cubicle supplier and it was the cleaning service.  Too many names to remember!!!  I need an assistant to get through this.  But that's enough complaining.

Today, Joe took Dolly to the vet for her annual check-up at 9am, then a piano lesson at 10:30 and then wait around the house for the garage door repair people.  Last night when we got home from choir practice, the garage door would only open about 2 feet.  Even with Joe's Beetle, it would not fit under.  We had to manually open the door (it's very heavy by the way and get Joe's car inside.  Then this morning manually open the door again (it's even heavier at 7:30am) to get my car and Joe's outside.  Hopefully it will be an easy and not to expensive fix.  It does mean that Joe is trapped at the house until they show up.

Dolly on the way home from her check-up

This weekend will be a busy one:  Joe will be accompanying the Durham Public Schools Elementary Honors Chorus today and tomorrow. Concert tomorrow at 7pm at Riverside HS. He has done this for the past several years and is looking forward to working with the conductor, Tom Shelton.  Saturday we will go do early voting at our precinct, a Costco run, and round up all old electronics for the free disposal/recycle in Durham on Sunday.  Sunday we will have church starting at 7:30am, after the 11am service drive to downtown Durham to drop off the electronics, be at the church before 5pm for Joe to work with the youth, then be back in downtown Durham by 6:30pm to be at DPAC for "Bring It On".  It should be a good weekend and as long as I can keep my sneezing and wheezing to a minimum, all will be fine.

*****Breaking News*****
3:30pm - Joe called me at the office and is running a fever and has chills. He called the Duke oncology triage phone number and left a message for Dr. Zafar. His nurse Daryl called back shortly thereafter and Joe told her what was going on. She told him to keep taking the Tylenol periodically and if he starts getting naseaus or throwing up, head to the ER. His temp is like a bouncing ball: up & down, up & down. He had to cancel playing for the elementary honors chorus and I'm not sure if I will go to Bible study or not. As most of you know, I worry.
6:00pm - He has eaten, temp is down for the moment. Hopefully this has all been a fluke and will be over soon.

Thank you for everyone's continued prayers and support.  We have the best friends in the world!

CT Scan results are in and the answer is....................

NO GROWTH of the tumor!  Every 2 months we have those few days in between the scan and getting the results from Duke that are somewhat nerve wracking.  But for the 3rd straight time, Joe has a great report from Leigh Howard with no growth of the tumor.  The chemo is working to maintain it.  Of course ideally we would like to have the tumor shrink, but we will take no growth any day of the week.

You can tell by the smile on his face that Joe was quite relieved and happy with todays results (you might have to zoom in on the face - but I guarantee you there is a smile).  Anyway, he is currently hooked up to his chemo in the infusion center and should be out of there within the next 30 minutes or so.  All in all, a smooth morning.  Now he can relax a little this afternoon, go for a walk on this glorious day, get some exercise and fresh air and hopefully sleep tonight (with the help of chemicals).   He is also battling the start of a head cold so we have to keep an eye on that to make sure it doesn't get too bad.  I may try to get him to wear surgical gloves and a mask when in public for a few days.  But that will be easier said than done.  However, stranger things have happened.  Sitting at Bible study tonight with a mask on might be interesting!

Thank you for the continued support and prayers.  We love you all for everything you have done for us and every kind word.

Chemo: Round 2 (Ding, Ding)

This week was the 2nd of this 3-week cycle at Duke. Although we made good time, this week was no new record. Joe didn't get out of chemo until 11:00 am. We did get to see both Dr. Zafar and Leigh Howard, which is always a good thing. Joe seems to be doing well enough that for now, he'll only see the doctor one time per chemo cycle. The other two appointments will just be for labs and then his chemo infusion. No co-pays for those visits...YAY!

It hardly seems possible but it's almost time for Joe's next CT Scan. Two months fly by when you're having fun, right? The next scan is scheduled for January 31st. We won't know the results until his February 2nd appointment. We just love waiting for the results (if you don't hear the sarcasm in that, read it again and listen carefully).

All in all, a good week except for my cold which is now entering its 5th week. Maybe by next Christmas I'll be well! We also set a record this year by getting the Christmas decorations down the earliest ever. Joe didn't get to have them still up on his birthday once again.

Thank you for the continued prayers and good wishes. We appreciate each and every one.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

The picture below should say it all with regard to the results of Joe's latest CT Scan.

Joe is all smiles and so am I that the CT scan done of Friday showed no growth of the tumor. STATUS QUO.  It was a long anxious weekend waiting for this morning and the results.  But it was worth it for these results.  A few more months before we have to worry about another scan.  Now we can both relax a little and enjoy the Holiday Season.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, thoughts and concerns.  Someone is listening.



Today's CT Scan

Today Joe had his second post surgical CT scan.  He had a 2pm appointment at the Duke Clinic and arrived on time but got a little worried when they announced that there was "trauma" in the CT scan area and that anyone waiting for a scan would be delayed.  However, the trauma must have been dealt with pretty quickly as he was called back around 2:20pm.  By 2:59pm he was out and on his way back to the parking deck.  We knew going in that we wouldn't get the results until his next doctor's appointment, which will be this coming Monday, Sept. 12.  He has to be at the clinic at 7am for labs and his appointment with Dr. Zafar is at 8am.  We have our fingers crossed and are saying many prayers that the scan results will show shrinkage of the tumor or at the very least, no growth or spreading.  Joe has been feeling very well lately and his energy level has never been better since the surgery.  He continues to tolerate the weekly chemo treatments very well with only minimal side effects which last only around 24 hours.

This past week has been especially good for both Joe and me.  We had a great visit with Lara, Joe & Ethan Wood at the beach, Joe had a good chorus rehearsal on Tuesday night (and we had lots of rain...our straw yard appreciated that), he had a large turnout for choir rehearsal Wednesday night and tonight was another engaging week of Disciple Bible Study at PGUMC.  All that and tomorrow is just Friday.  Saturday we are going to visit our nephew Wayne to round out the week.

Thank you to all for the warm wishes we have received this week as well as for the continued prayers for Joe.  A special thank you to our Pleasant Grove UMC family and their acceptance and heartfelt congratulations that they continue to express to me and Joe.