JOE STORIES or JOE-ISMS

Joe stories.......or "Joe-isms"

-The morning that Joe's mother announced at our townhome that she felt like she had spent the night in "a house of debauchery"

-The time that my family was visiting and we were putting the backyard swing together on the patio.  Joe had REALLY bad gas.  He was not shy about letting one rip in front of my family, although he would always put his hand up to his mouth like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar every time he did.  On this occasion, he let out the loudest fart imaginable and the odor wafted through the air and literally hung over the patio, no breeze could blow it away, even outside it would not dissipate for 30 minutes.  To this day it was the foulest odor I have ever smelled.  We all laughed, complained and fussed at him for the rest of the night.....and for the next 10 years we would bring it up every time he farted!  And Joe would just grin. 

-Jeff Whicker's version of the story about seeing Joe on WRAL and an Easter bunny (Joe did not find it as amusing as everyone else)

-Joe and I form a cradle by interlinking our arms to carry Joe's mom across 7th Avenue in NYC to get her into Carnegie Hall.  Then just left her there for three hours.

-Joe took my family for a ride around Jordan Lake for "fun" with the three of them in the back seat of the VW Beetle....but it was drought season and Jordan Lake was a huge dried up mud puddle.

-Every time a new road opened in the triangle we had to ride on it for "fun"

-Joe had a student steal his credit card number while a student in his class.  He had her removed from class but she was performing a vocal number for a different class.  Joe was accompanying the students but told the teacher he would not play for her.  When she came out to sing, Joe just sat there and stared at her.  After a minute or so she finally realized he wasn't going to play for her and she tried it a cappella.

-Joe got mad at me one night and grabbed the keys to his car, stormed out the garage door and backed the car out to leave.  Only, 2 minutes later he drove back in and linked into the house.  I had to ask him "why did you come back so quick?".  His answer, "I couldn't think of anywhere to go".  He was so defeated.  We both laughed about that temper tantrum for some time.

-Speaking of tantrums, he caused me to have two.  One was while I was driving home from Winston-Salem where I had been training a store manager for the company I worked for at the time, he tells me he bought the piano....and charged it on his credit card...a five figure piano on a MasterCard.  I yelled and screamed the whole way home and when the piano was delivered, I sat on the steps like a petulant child and wouldn't even tell the delivery men where to put it.  I made them wait until Joe got home.  "It's not my damn piano, it's his" was all I would say.  The second tantrum was when he surprised me with the purchase of the full 8 piece setting of the China & flatware that we had looked at.  I wasn't going to allow him to go with me to see my family at Christmas over that one.  Aimee had to call me and beg me to let him come.  After that second incident, he was put on a $25 budget without my approval.

-Everytime that Sara visited, he would slip a few cuss words when we would be in the car.  Just enough to make me yell at him, which would make Sara laugh.  I think he did it just to hear her laugh.

-Joe's belly laugh when he went to a comedy in a theater....he wasn't shy about enjoying himself.

-Joe's ability to amuse himself with his own wit when no one, except Hannah Lingafelt, found him funny

-Joe saying something really inappropriate SO LOUD that he practically broadcast it to the world (myself and Jill shushed him so many times)

Got a "Joe-ism" or Joe story?  Please share.