Oh What A Difference A Day Makes

I should probably just take the previous post down.  The one with the video where I feel good, I'm smiling, talking about my busy weekend.  It only took about 15 minutes today for everything on my video from last night to fall apart.  Today turned into being much more wide open than I thought and I'm not sure if tomorrow will be anything more than going to the 3pm concert.  I definitely will not be at church.  I also feel like all the progress I've made the last 5 1/2 months has just fallen to the wayside.  Have spent 3 hours talking with my wonderful minister, (bless his heart for being able to listen to me for 3 hours, he's a good man) after sitting in the church parking lot for an hour and a half and then another 30 minutes in the church sitting at the piano and looking at the organ.  Both places Joe should be sitting.  In my head and heart I am right back where I was the week after Joe's death.  Silly that something very small can have such an impact on me that I just want to crawl under the bed and hide.  However I can't do that.  All I can do is sit here.