February 21, 2012

Today I made what I consider a giant step. I arrived at the Duke Cancer Center a little early for my counseling appointment so I had Leigh Howard paged. I had not seen either Leigh or Dr. Zafar since Joe's death although I had spoken to each of them. I had wanted to see them because of how important both of them were to Joe and still are to me. Although Joe fought really hard against the cancer, I attribute much of his ability to have survived for over two years to the care he received from our oncology team. They are both such wonderful people as well as incredibly gifted medical professionals. For more than two years they were part of our lives. We saw them weekly. A close relationship developed between us. I have missed them but knew it would be difficult to see them again and although I have been to the DCC weekly, have not had the courage to go up to the third floor to see them. Today I found that courage and I saw both of them. Although it was a tearful visit on my part, it felt good to visit with them, talk to them and express my gratitude. After that I went back downstairs for my counseling session.

Today when I got home I pulled all of mine and Joe's tax information together so that our taxes can be done. I also pulled out all the cards that I received following the news of Joe's death and the memorial service. So many people to thank for thinking of me and our families. The Hardy family, Virginia Joines, Julie Hilton Steele, Tim & Netta Ketterman, Erin Juliano, John Belch, Marcia Fleishman, Wes & Cathy Anderson, Ruth Heath, the Russell family, Hal & Deanna Bruen, Phil & Pat Hoffman, the Potratz family, the Duke CC GI Oncology Program, Barbara Johnson, Patty Kranich, Iris & Mike Colvin, Bill & Fredda Umphlett, Donna Clelland, the Minnick family, Angela Teachey, Desiree Davis-Omburo, the Simpson family, Marilyn Kennedy, Mary Nell Thomas, the Hume family, Bob & Mary Anderson, Amy Daws, Cheryl Crane & David Murray, Nancy Glascow, Jennifer & Rob Williams, Kent Parks & Randy Moore, Don & Doris Click, Michael & Missy Fox, Stella Honeycutt, Valerie & Leroy Hurd, Shawn Morgenlander, Lennie & Dianne Rosenbluth, Becka Huckabee, the Shade family, Ray & Judy Peede, Charlotte Margolis, Michele Burris, Laura Delauney, Stephen Melott, Jane Albright, Larry & Angela Tollen, Beverly & Talmadge Skinner, Mark Shelton & Michael Gosch, Katy Lupton, Jan Jackson, Donna Lloyd, Wayne Dedrick, John & Glynnis Cowell, Mary Kay Pendergraph, the Piscorik family, Bert Elliott, Mary Thomas, Durham Regional Assoc. of Realtors, the Clemo family, Bill Lupton & Sandy Okazaki, Ruth Patterson, Jenny & Bill Krieski, the entire Quest group at PGUMC.....and many have sent multiple cards & thoughtful gifts. Meals with the Minnicks, the Frys, the Clarks, the Levines, the Lawsons, Lucinda, Mike, Jeff, and Artie. Phone calls from Rob & Lola, Mark & Jill, Bill & Sandy, Scott & Ken and others. Many others have helped with a variety of tasks. These people along with other friends and family are a major force in what is helping me get through each day.

Tonight after seeing Leigh & Yousuf; a counseling session; organizing the taxes; along with a day at work, I am tired! It's only 6:45 pm but I hear my bed calling. After I call Joe's mother, I think I will turn in early. I have a feeling of accomplishment and it feels good.

Thank you to EVERYONE who continues to pray for me and remember me in their thoughts. I am humbled and most grateful.