Decisions, Decisions

Tomorrow we have a doctors appointment at 9:20am with Dr. Zafar or Leigh Howard at the Duke Cancer Center. The reason for two doctor's appointments in a row is that we are to give the doctor Joe's decision on what treatment he wants to proceed with due to the growth of the tumor revealed in his last CT scan. Last week Dr. Zafar presented two options. Option 1: continue with his current treatment and have another CT scan in 6 weeks (which would be earlier than his normal schedule for scans) or Option 2: Change the treatment now to a more aggressive type of chemotherapy that unfortunately would have more debilitating side effects. I won't go into what some of those side effects are, but lets just say they would not be pleasant, especially for Joe. If we go with Option 1, then depending on what the scan in 6 weeks shows, we would re-visit the idea of changing his treatment. Meaning, if the tumor has continued to grow, then we would switch to the new treatment. If there was no growth or minimal growth, then we would stay with his current treatment. We have thought about it since last Thursday and have come to a decision to stay with the current treatment and have the earlier CT scan. However, we have lots of questions about the other treatment so we might as well go ahead and ask all of them this visit in the event we have to change in the future. Better to be informed ahead of time rather than get blind-sided by something.

We didn't come by the decision lightly. Part of me would like for them to throw the biggest nastiest hardest form of chemo at the tumor and squash it. However, the rest of me knows what that would do physically and emotionally to Joe. The side effects would be horrible. I don't want that and I'm sure Joe doesn't either. Maybe some people will think this is not the right decision, I even question it myself. But nothing is guaranteed. There are no guarantees in life. That we learned in November of 2010. But enough of the downer talk, right? One solid reason for our decision is that the markers from the labs done at the time of the scan were good. No real change with them. Another reason, although I respect those professionals who read the scans, no one is perfect and I would like to have another scan done earlier.

We got a dose of what we might expect from a change in Joe's chemo treatment this past week. Joe started having stomach pains on Friday evening along with running a low grade fever. This continued on into Saturday. That day pretty much was a wash as both of us just laid around the house. I did manage to leave the house twice, first to get lunch and then dinner. Joe slept and complained of his stomach feeling bad. His fever never got to the 100 mark, but stayed in the mid 99 range most of the day. By late that night the fever seemed to have subsided so Joe was able to play for both services at PGUMC on Sunday and then accompany TGMC for their last concert of the year. Although he was able to get through it all, he was very tired and by Sunday evening his fever had returned and his stomach was once again hurting. Monday morning his fever was gone, but he was still experiencing stomach issues. This continued until late in the day on Tuesday when Joe started describing it as just a slight discomfort. Of course, we don't know why his stomach was hurting: tumor issues? hernia issues? or just stomach ache? We may never know, but it was a taste of Joe feeling bad for several days in a row.
I think one of the reasons why we took the news last Thursday so badly is that we've grown accustomed to Joe having good scans, feeling well most of the time and probably were just in a little complacent. The news was a dose of reality, at least for me.

But the week hasn't been all stressful and gloomy. On Tuesday, Joe took Dolly to the kitty spa. She got to spend 4 hours being bathed and pampered. She came out all fluffy and smelling good.

Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of love this past week. It has been a hard time for Joe and me but knowing so many people care so deeply is a great comfort