Another Loss I Never Imagined

I was awakened this morning at 2:41 a.m. when my sister called my cell repeatedly trying to reach me.  I had fallen asleep with the TV on and the volume was masking the ringing, but eventually it did wake me up and I answered.  The news was something I had never really imagined.  Aimee was gone.  That little girl that was the light of my life for most of my teen years & twenties, was no longer here.  I will not go into details of her death on here due to privacy for my family, but we are shocked, overwhelmed, confused and incredibly sad.  My sister & brother in law, Aimee's brother Wayne, along with Aimee's daughter, Sara, are in desperate need of prayers and loving thoughts.  This is going to be the roughest thing any of them have ever gone through.  I don't really know how to help them as I am feeling as if my already shaky foundation has crumbled and caved.  That may sound melodramatic but I don't know how else to describe it.  Things that I thought I would never experience seem to just be happening.  If anyone had said to me just 5 years ago that both Joe and Aimee would be gone, I would not, could not have believed them.  But here I sit.  Typing on this random blog of mine.  Bleary eyed from crying all day and having no sleep.  Exhausted but unable to find the strength to will myself to go lay down.  The mind tricks that I have employed over the last 5 years to occupy my brain when I go to bed seem inadequate tonight.  Aimee's death has sent me right back to 2013, and then even more.

I have the text message from her from yesterday at 1:37 p.m. wishing me a Happy Birthday and saying I was the best Uncle in the world and telling me she loved me.  I thanked her and said I Love You.  I am so glad I did.   Regardless of anything else that may have been going on, I hope and pray that she understood just how much I loved her.

I miss you my little girl.  You will always be my first niece, the one that danced to Madonna with me, ate really hot salsa with me, loved me no matter what.  No judgements.  Your pain in all it's forms is over.  No more surgeries, no more fears.  Rest.

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Joe- Aimee is there with you know.  Give her grief like you always did because deep down she really liked that and she loved you with all her heart.  Look over her, take care of her.