Overwhelmed -vs- Underwhelmed

I'm not sure which I am...overwhelmed or underwhelmed....or overwhelmed by how underwhelming things in my life are.  First off, I could conceivably go "postal" (do we still use that phrase?  It's been so long since one of our postal workers has gone on a shooting rampage.  Students, movie goers and shoppers seem to be more en vogue recently) on a couple of people at work.  Between sheer disregard for the health of others and gossip, it's not safe to be there.  I mean really, if you are coughing up phlegm constantly, running a fever and wheezing with each breath, GO HOME and stop infecting the entire staff.  Also, office gossip is so tiresome, especially when it's not accurate.  I leave work every day in a bad mood.  That can't be healthy for me.  

Then there are the other aspects of my life:  my eating self control has pretty much gone out the window; I've found it incredibly difficult to get back into a steady workout routine since the holidays; and I've been feeling myself slip slowly into wanting more and more solitude.   So work is overwhelming in its irritation while being underwhelming at the desire to even be there.  Trying to get back into my weight loss/healthy living/workout routine is overwhelming because I can't find the self motivation that I had last year.  The desire to just be alone is underwhelming because deep down, that is not what I want my life to be like.  There are smaller things that occupy other aspects of my day-in, day-out routine that contribute to my present state, but I won't bore you any more than I already have.  

The bottom line is, January sucked and I honestly do hope February is better.  If I can only get out of this slump I've been in the last few weeks, I'm going to make some serious changes.  Or maybe I need to make some serious changes to get out of this slump.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  I did have a productive afternoon though, and I am quite proud.  I finally went through Joe's clothes in our closet.  I only kept a few items: his suit that he wore at our wedding, his lavender & red Polo shirts, his red sweat shirt, and his bathrobe.  Mind you, there are a few of his things that I have been wearing for several years and have claimed them as my own for all that time, but other than those items, his side of the closet has finally been cleaned out.  Of course now I need to do the same to my side.  I need to get rid of my larger size clothes as well as some really outdated items.  Durham Rescue Mission will be loving me next weekend!

To my friends on Facebook, please consider the "Purple Your Profile" campaign from Chevrolet for February 4th, World Cancer Day.  For everyone who participates, Chevrolet will donate $1.00 to the American Cancer Society.  You can use this link to make your profile purple. (Do not worry, the non purple version of you profile picture will remain in you photos and can be changed back at any time)

http://www.chevrolet.com/purple-roads-world-cancer-day.html

Every dollar makes a difference and this doesn't even come out of your pocket!

My rings are now purple on Facebook....I might just leave them that way.  I kinda like it!

So many people reached out to me during the days around the one year anniversary of Joe's death.  Thank you for your caring, your prayers, your support and your love.  Each of you continue to make a difference in my life.