The Weekend That Was and Then Today's Chemo

This past week as earlier written about, Joe’s brother Bill and his wife Sandy, came for a visit from Las Vegas. The best thing about Bill & Sandy visiting is that you don’t feel you have to entertain them. The purpose of the visit was just that: a visit. Time for them to spend with us and us with them. Whether it was laying around watching football on Saturday and arguing with Bill about the scheduling differences between Vegas and here (when he gets up and ready to watch College Gameday in Vegas which comes on ESPNU at 9am EST and ESPN at 10am EST, he gets to start watching it at 6am or 7am there). Of course he was up early on Saturday and fussing and moaning about the lack of the show until 9a.m. We had some good bickering over that. Then when the games start, I’m watching 2 in the family room (PIP) and he is watching one in the kitchen and has his computer up and running. Not sure if there was one on it or not. But then we argued about which was a better game to watch and so on and so on. It was a lot of fun. Joe has no football interest so it made my Saturday to get to bitch and moan with someone. Sandy meanwhile just kept commenting that this was what she had to deal with every Saturday. Apparently control of their DVR in Vegas is a big issue. Joe and I don’t have that issue. I get what I want, plain and simple. But we had a great visit.

The day before, Friday, Joe and Bill had driven to Wilson to meet their mother and sister at Bill’s Bar-B-Que for lunch. The lunch lasted around 2 hours, they had nice conversation, no confrontation and both left with a bit of a sigh of relief I think. It was the first time Bill had seen them since the “blow-up” in March and except for their Aunt Sue’s funeral, it was the first time that Joe had seen them as well. Truly the first time for each of them to see each other and have a conversation face to face. No issues were addressed, mostly in an effort to not cause any more conflict and keep Joe calm. He was a bit tired after the return trip so we ordered Randy’s Pizza and picked it up for dinner. I think all 4 of us enjoyed that and were able to just relax around the house.

Besides Saturday’s afternoon football, there were naps by everyone. Me and Joe on the couch in the family room (it’s and L shaped sectional) and eventually Bill & Sandy upstairs. Later in the afternoon we all cleaned up and went out for dinner to our favorite sushi restaurant, Shiki Shushi at Homestead Market on Hwy 54. Once again we all enjoyed it and were home around 7:30 and then proceeded to watch the DUKE- UNC game on TV. Yes, I actually watched a Duke game. Football doesn’t have the same effect on me as basketball, mostly due to my complete lack of interest in ACC football (which I have historically considered a joke as far as being competitive with the rest of the conferences mainly the SEC and BIG10 – Let’s face it, the ACC sucks in football). But I digress. We watched the game downstairs up until UNC went ahead at the 3+ minute mark. At that point, I saw no need to stay downstairs and watch since Joe and I had to be up at 6am to get to church by 7:30am the next morning. Joe had already gone upstairs to prep for bed so I followed. However, I did turn the TV on upstairs, paused the picture and prepped myself for bed. By the time I was ready to climb in the bed, I popped on the iPad and checked the score on ESPN. The game was over, I knew Duke had won so I unpaused the TV and finished the game while remaining calm. I didn’t even wake Joe. Of course had it been basketball I probably would have been loud enough to wake the neighborhood. But it was just football. Fun night just the same.

Sunday brought our early morning trek to church for the 8:30am and 11am services. I got a lot of religion on Sunday by attending both services. Usually I am just recording the 8:30am service and have my headphones on up in the recording loft listening to music or some show on Netflix streaming but since I was assisting with communion at the 8:30 service, I actually sat in the pews. It did however give me a chance to sit with Dave & Kelsey and catch up a bit with them. I rarely get the opportunity so it was nice for a change and I always enjoy their company. The 11am service is the one the bulk of my closer friends at PGUMC attend so I felt I needed to attend that one as well so I could see those special people that have been so supportive of me and Joe. Besides, the choir was singing and I wanted to hear them.

After church we came home and the four of us went out to eat for lunch at Rick’s Diner (can’t go
wrong there) and then over to A Southern Season since that is one of Sandy’s favorite stores when
she visits. We were having a good time, Joe buying chocolate by the pound and eating it
(diabetic?????) while Sandy shopped for her favorite items that she has purchased on previous trips. She really likes that store, but then who doesn’t? During this time, Joe excused himself to go to the car saying he was tired. I should have just followed him on out but didn’t. When we did finish and I went to the car he was complaining of being cold but said otherwise he was fine. After stopping at Fresh Market for Pimento Cheese & Chicken Salad, he returned to the car having severe chills. I was not happy. We went straight home and I ordered, yes ordered, him to bed. He was still several hours out from being able to take Tylenol so he had to cuddle under the covers. When I took his temperature after making him some hot tea (which he never drank) it was at 103. So we waited the 2+ hours until he could have Tylenol. Why the wait, because unbeknownst to me, when we got home from church he took his temp and it was high and took some then. Had he just mentioned that he was running a fever, we would have done the afternoon different. Maybe lunch at Rick’s and then dropped him off at home. I could have taken Bill & Sandy to A Southern Season while Joe rested. But as he put it, “I didn’t want to ruin the afternoon”. So instead, he runs a massive fever getting everyone all worked up and upset. Not his smartest move. I was extremely angry at him for not telling me the truth about what was going on. He has promised over and over to tell me the truth about how he is feeling, but once again, he kept it from me. This has got to stop! Maybe my less than happy demeanor will have gotten through to him this time. Only time will tell. Anyway, we took Bill & Sandy over to the Marriott on Sunday night so that they can use the hotel shuttle to get to the airport today since we will be at chemo. It was a wonderful visit and I am so grateful to both of them for coming to visit. Even with the bumps, it lifted Joe’s spirits so much to see the 2 of them and get to spend the time with them. Sandy even spent quality time spoiling Dolly. Of course as we drove off from the hotel, Joe became very emotional. He loves and respects his brother so much and is so thankful and appreciative of the support that the two of them have shown us. The tears flowed as we went back home but mixed in with the sorrow for leaving, was a happy vibe that he had gotten to spend 4 days with them. We both just wish we could see them more often. But since our travel plans are somewhat limited by Joe’s treatments, it pretty much is put on them to travel here, so that obviously isn’t fair to them. But as long as we get a fix every year or so, we can manage.

The fall foliage outside A Southern Season

Joe is at the Duke Cancer Center as I type.  I have just finished Facetime with him during his doctor’s appointment.  Since his temp did get so high yesterday, Leigh has ordered some more blood work drawn for cultures.  103.1 is high.  So Joe is now heading back down to level 0 for lab work before heading up to the 4th floor for chemo.  Me, I’m just waiting for staff or someone to arrive here at the office, so I can leave to go meet him.  I had almost nothing to do here this morning except dodge leftover pumpkins from our office Pumpkin Patch this weekend.  We have lots of orange in the lobby (at least it is a color).

I made it to Duke around 9:30am, got my coffee and joined Joe in the chemo waiting room.  It wasn't a long wait before we went back to an infusion room.  Then we got a surprise visit from Dr. Zafar.  He came for two reasons: to ask if Joe would participate in a study (non-medical) and to inquire about the weekend fevers.  He was not pleased to hear about the teeth rattling chills and 103+ fever.  To say he was concerned is putting it mildly.  The have drawn blood for cultures already and we will wait the 48 hrs for those results but it is highly likely that they will remove Joe's port and put a new one in the other side of his chest.  This would have to be done 2 weeks apart, keeping Joe off treatment during that time.  Dr. Zafar was emphatic that the chills and such high fevers are not chemo related.  So time will tell on that front.  Today however, up in chemo, he is running a 100 degree fever again so they have let him take some Tylenol.  They'll be checking it again I'm sure.   

Unlike last week, Joe is awake and very talkative.  Not sure which I prefer; sleeping Joe or talking Joe. Talking Joe is keeping me from watching Netflix though, so sleeping Joe might win.

Construction on the Duke Expansion is moving right along.

I hope everyone has a great week and I will let everyone know if there are any "unfortunate" results from the cultures which would result in a possible "Duke Spa" visit....UGH!  Thank you for the prayers and words of support.  We are so grateful.