Not Such a Big Day

Today turned out to not be such a big day after all.  But we learned a very big lesson and I had a "Ah Ha" moment.   The day wasn't such a big day because Joe did NOT start his IV chemotherapy.  He did get a clean report from the surgeon as far as his incision and it's healing.  Both Dr. Tyler and the surgical resident were very impressed with how well it is doing.  He said it wouldn't be long at all before there would only be the scar and it would be smooth in no time at all.  Joe no longer has to wear any dressing over the incision since the drainage has stopped.  The reason for not proceeding today with the chemo was because of the up and down fevers that Joe has had since his last hospital stay.  The last 2 weeks the fevers have not been as high, or as often, but they are still present off and on.  So Dr. Zafar, the Oncologist, put off the chemo for 2 weeks to monitor and see if the fevers continue.  They did extra blood work for cultures as well as urine for culture tests.

The lesson that we learned is never, and I repeat never, ever have another appointment on a Monday in the mid-morning.  Since this all began back in October/November, with the exception of the first appointment which was at 2pm on a Thursday, all the other appointments have been early in the morning, no later than 9am.  Today with a 10am appointment, the waiting room at Clinic 1A was like sardines in a can.  We have never had to wait for seating.  People were standing and waiting all over the place, there was overflow waiting in the lobby connecting the clinic to the main hospital.  When patients buzzers would go off and they would get up, people would slide into the empty seat within a micro-second.  The sad thing is that many, if not most, of the buzzers going off were for the patients to go have blood drawn and then they had to return to the waiting room where they no longer had a seat.  I have to admit that I was one of those that slid into a seat the moment someone's buzzer went off and within 5 minutes I saw them out the corner of my eye come back into the waiting room only to discover they no longer had a seat.  Did I feel bad? Yes, did I feel bad enough to get up? No. I just kept my boot in full view, indicating i couldn't stand either.

The "Ah-ha" moment was after we had gone back to an exam room and Minokah, the Oncologist's nurse, came in to check on Joe, ask questions and update her records.  At that moment, I realized that apparently, when in a doctor's examination room, Joe becomes a deaf mute.  Nurse asks, "so how are you doing?"....nothing but a blank smile from Joe.  When Dr. Zafar comes in and asks "how are you feeling?"...the sound of crickets could be heard.  The silence was almost deafening.   In both cases, Minokah & Dr. Zafar turn to look at me hoping for some information.  For any of you that know me well, you know I can talk, so don't worry about all the nurses or doctors not getting a full picture of what is going on.  I talked, I answered questions, Joe smiled and occassionally said, "ok".   I am exaggerating, but not by much.

Since there was no chemo, Joe and I went and had lunch at King's Sandwich Shop on Foster Street and then I took Joe home and I returned to work.  This past weekend was one where I held on to my emotions with a tight grip.  Tonight after getting home, Joe and I had a long conversation about the past few months and my firm grip slipped and there have been quite a few tears on my part.  Of course when I start, Joe follows close behind so it has been very emotional.  I started typing this almost 2 hours ago but have just come back to it in the last few minutes to finish.  Talk of the future, of our babies, Sara, Brittany & Josh, have made this a very heavy evening, but it was a conversation that Joe and I needed to have with one another.  I'm sure it won't be the last, I'm sure there will be more tears, but I'm also sure that as long as we stick together, we can get through anything.  On second thought, maybe this was a big day.