Interpretations of Biblical Scripture Misused to Promote Bigotry

Although the intention of this website is to keep people informed with Joe’s health with regard to his pancreatic cancer, I also feel it is incumbent upon me to also keep those that care for Joe up to date on other aspects of his well-being.  I mention this only because there was one night this week, Monday evening September 26^th,  that due to circumstances, was very hard on him emotionally and therefore affected him in many ways, including physically.  It was evident on Tuesday that the events of the previous evening were weighing heavily on him, some of that due to the fact that he did not sleep well the night before both due to his chemo treatment earlier in the day and with a lot on his mind that night at bedtime.

Earlier in the day, Joe had shared an article on Facebook from Barry Saunders that had appeared in the News & Observer.  The article was in regard to last weekend’s NC Pride Parade and festivities that had been held in Durham and Duke’s East Campus.  Both Joe and I had attended, Joe performing with the TGMC, along with many of our friends and acquaintances.  The essence of the Barry Saunders article was that he didn’t understand what the conservative, right leaning, politicians and populace of North Carolina were so afraid of when it came to gay people.  As he put it in the opening sentence of the article, “I went to the Gay Pride parade and guess what, I still like women.  So what are all of ya’ll afraid of?”  The article was in response to the Amendment One that will appear on the May 2012 Ballot to “Ban Gay Marriage and Define a Marriage as between One Man and One Woman”.  The proposed question in the opening sentence appeared on Joe’s Facebook “Wall” along with a link to the article.  I do not know if the persons that then decided it was their place to give an opinion read the article or just read the 1^st sentence that appeared on the post.  However, when I opened my Facebook page just before shutting my computer down at work and saw the first comment, coming from a childhood friend that Joe considered a friend in both real life and Facebook, I took it as a personal attack on Joe and did not react well to it.  My response to this person, although not ugly, was not kind and some may say mean spirited, but I accept that.  It is hard for me to sit back calmly when I feel someone is attacking him.  Some might say I am “over protective”, but I can live with that label as well.

Here is the first comment (I have removed the name and only have initials):

MW:  perhaps they are concerned about the continued spread of aids, the moral corruption of their children, the further moral decline of society, and promotion of a reprobate sin, which will surely bring more of God's judgment upon us.

My first response was:

Jeff Holland Perhaps Mr. W you should practice the form of Christianity that believes in loving thy fellow man along with caring and forgiveness rather than judging, which if I'm not mistaken, is clearly stated in the Bible. Oh, wait, I was thinking of Christian values.

What followed was a series of Bible thumping from him and then another childhood friend of Joe’s joined in and then a former middle school student of Joe’s joined in.  What ensued were hours of a hell fire and damnation diatribe from Mr. W, Mr. F and Mr. S.

Here is just a sample, but let me warn you, some of it is quite ugly with respect to the way Mr. W interprets the Bible, at least as far as we were concerned.

MW:  Mr Holland, Jesus Christ preached against sin much harder than I ever have, and warned about hell more than He promoted heaven. I judge no one, God's word has already performed that task. And when one truly loves, he is more than willing to take the heat for calling sin --- sin. What kind of love refuses to call to someone's attention to the fact they are about to jump off a cliff and find themselves in a bottomless pit? What kind of a loving parent would refuse to warn their child not to run out in the street? What kind of parent would not try to save a child who dares to run out into the street. The problem with most folk today, they do not understand true love -- they define love as lust.

MW : And may I add, any movement or church that condones the sin of homosexuality, which claims to be Christian is defined by the Bible as apostate, false, dead in sin, and reprobate. I love you, but I detest your sin. And the love of God would say, repent of your sin, receive the One True Christ, be justified, sanctified, and transformed into a "new creature in Christ." That's would be defined as true biblical love -- that which is willing to tell you the truth. By the way, I was brought up with Joe in the Baptist church, but I will not compromise with the Word of God and waywardness. I pray God the Holy Spirit convict, convince, and illuminate your mind to the truth of His Word, lest you become an eternal reprobate.

Jeff Holland : Mr W, let's agree to disagree. Having been brought up in the Baptist Church I heard more than enough of the type of speeches you give. As an adult I made my decision to remove myself from the hate speech and seek out God's love in a different environment, one that is accepting of the fact that all people are not the same, but that all people are due the same basic human rights. Continue your hell fire and damnation diatribes against any that disagree with your personal as well as religious points of view. Although you say you judge no one, your original response to Joe's posting about " continued spread of aids, moral corruption, moral decline of society and promotion of reprobate sin" seems judgmental to me. Possibly you should have been a psychoanalyst, since you seem to be able to diagnose "most folk" without having met "most folk". Maybe next time, you will wait to be asked for your opinion to one of Joe's posts before spouting off.

MW:  God has blessed you with the free will to choose and whatever lifestyle you choose to live is up to you -- just don't expect those of us who love God and believe the Bible to approve of your sin and don't seek to ask us to help you justify. Sleep with who you will, have as much sex as you like, (heterosexual or homosexual); but mark this down in red -- judgment day will come on all sin, including the sin of homosexuality, according to God -- not this preacher. Yes, God is loving and merciful when we choose His way (i spent 10 years as a drunk and addict before God cleaned me up). When we reject His way -- we reject love, grace and mercy --- leaving us with wrath and judgment.

RS: ‎1st Corinthians Chapter 6 verse nine KJV

MW:  that verse is very, very clear RS - and it's not just a Baptist Bible, it applies to all

Jeff Holland  Sir, I have not asked for your approval, nor do I desire it. I have put my life and faith in Jesus Christ and only desire judgment from him.

MW:  I am glad to hear you have put your life and faith in Jesus Christ. If that is truly the case, God has now given you the power to forsake and overcome the sin of homosexuality. Paul referred to this as "putting off the old self...corrupted ...,with the lusts of deceiit..." and put on the new man created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Ephesians 4:22-24 Paul said, "if any man be in Christ, he is a New Creature, old things have passed away." Forsake you sin and become the witness and testimony that Christ has called you to be. "He who loves Me, will keep my commandments."

MW: ‎1 Corinthians 6:11 goes on to say --- "and such (homosexuals verse 9) WERE some of you." If you have truly put your fatih and trust in Christ, Paul says you "WERE" but are no longer a homosexual. That being the case, you now need to repent and forsake that sin, so you can start living a life of righteousness and holiness. In my case, I was once a drunk, I was a drug addict, I was a fornicator, an adulterer, but thank God, today I am a new creature and no longer have to live that way. I am free from the BONDAGE of sin. I am now "washed, justified, and sanctified." My sanctification is continually compelling me to put away the sins of the flesh.

Jeff Holland Mr. W  and Mr. S : As with most Christian faiths, except Southern Baptists and a few other Evangelical churches, the KJV hasn't been used for many years due to the vast quantity of translation errors discovered by Biblical scholars, therefore, I would have to disagree with YOUR interpretation of 1 Cor 6:9-11. In my Bible (the NRSV), homosexuals are never mentioned. As for Eph 4:22-24 it states, "You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness". That sirs, I have done. But please, as I stated earlier, I have neither asked for nor desire your approval, therefore, this discussion is over for me. Have a nice day.

Of course it did not end there.  Especially once the other former childhood friend put his 2 cents worth in:

MF:  Jeff Holland, you are one prejudiced bastard.

As you can see, the type of comments deteriorated.  Joe finally posted a response expressing his sadness that 2 childhood friends and a former student would feel the need to condemn the 2 of us so profoundly and in such a public way.  He asked  all of them to please stop and to consider his response the last communication between them. 

Joe Lupton:  MW, yes we were friends when we were young and growing up in Roanoke Baptist Church and I thought we could continue as FB friends; however, I have never made any condemning and bigoted statements on anyone's FB page. Yes, people can disagree; however, the venom that spills out of your mouth does NOT reflect the God that I have loved and served throughout my life. "To love another person is to see the face of God" is from Les Miz & I wish more could abide by this instead of forcing such condemning views upon all of the world.  In my dealings with pancreatic cancer I have come to put all of my energy into loving the world and praying for all to have love in their hearts. I feel that my life right now needs positive influences and not such negativity as you present. Please consider this our last communication. (MF, I don't appreciate your "liking" on MW’s post even if you do agree with him. RS, when you were a student of mine, I tried to treat everyone equally and tried never to condemn anyone. I had hoped that you had learned something from me.

Of course that didn’t happen as all of them continued on for hours.  Joe has since removed the entire exchange from his Facebook wall.

On a happier note, many of our friends did chime in showing support for us and expressing their opinion on the posts from MW, RS and MF.  Many, many, many thanks to Mark Potratz, Stacy Potratz, Amos Brown, Chelsea Brown, Challie Sullivan and Lola Elliott Hugh for their support that night.  At some point, Joe intends to post the entire conversation as a Note on his Facebook wall just to show the type of hate speech and condemnation that we deal with continually, especially with the proposed Amendment One to the Constitution of North Carolina coming up on the May ballot.  We are hopeful that level headed and intelligent people from all sides, liberal, conservative, progressive, right-wing and left-wing can see how divisive and detrimental passage of this Amendment One will be to the entire State of North Carolina.

Today Joe is feeling better about things as the events of Monday become more distant but I know that it will be a long time before that night is forgotten by either of us.

End of Chemo Cycle #.???????...Oh I've Lost Count!

This morning was the last in a 3 week Chemo cycle at Duke for Joe.  I've lost count as to which cycle this is, not that it really matters.  We were a little concerned from last week that he might not get to have his chemo treatment this week because one of his blood counts was low.  He had been warned last week to avoid anyone with sniffles, coughs or sneezing since the low count indicated he could very easily pick up something and his immune system would find it difficult to fight off.  Had the count been any lower today he wouldn't be able to have his treatment.  However, the count was the same, no better, no worse so he was allowed to go on for his treatment. 

He did get the idea last week that wearing the same clothes each week was not a good idea and this week surprised me by wearing something different and crossing his legs differently.  I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.



He also got his Flu shot.  As you can tell by the look on his face, he is a really big baby when it comes to shots (of course, I am worse, so I have no room to talk).  Mark Bradford, his nurse, was extremely considerate and got the smallest needle he could find to give him the shot.  I guess it wasn't small enough judging by Joe's closed eyes.



But anyway, once Mark was through we left for the chemo infusion center where we parted ways and I came on to work.  Joe was finished with his treatment by 10:45am and on his way home.  Now he will have a week off, hopefully behave himself so there are no fevers and we won't be back until October 10th.

Hope everyone has a great week and thanks for your continued prayers and support.  

It was a Good Week for Joe

YAY!  We were back to a more normal schedule this week and Joe had no fevers or bad days!  His schedule this week was reasonably normal (as far as normal goes for him) with doctor's appointment & chemo the first of the week, chorus practice on Tuesday, choir practice on Wednesday, Bible study on Thursday and various piano students throughout.   All that and rain off and on for several days make for a good week.  Joe is currently getting ready for the chorus to sing today at the Pride weekend at Duke's East Campus.  He is supposed to be there by 11:30am and it's 11:01am as I type and I haven't even had a shower yet.  Something tells me we won't get down there on time.  Oh well, no biggie (at least not for me).

If the rain holds off today, we should have a good day and maybe I can get by Home Goods today :)

Post Pride update:  The rain held off until after the TGMC performance and the parade.  That's Joe on the left peaking out from the balloons.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and thank you for your continued prayers and support for Joe.

Joe Is Repetitive

Joe had his weekly doctor's appointment this morning and got to see Leigh Howard after her 2 weeks off.  I know that Dr. Zafar was probably the happiest person at Duke today.  2 weeks of handling all his own appointments has probably worn him completely out.  We didn't even catch a glimpse of him today so we aren't sure if he even showed up (I'm sure he did...not the type to skip out on his job).   But today went smooth as silk.  We arrived at 6:55am, scanned in at the Kiosk, I went and got coffee & Joe his diet lemonade and by the time I got back he had already been back for his lab work.  By 7:55 we were back in an exam room and about 8:05, the nurse, Mark, was in and a few minutes later, Leigh came in, talked with us, asked the questions, did the exam and sent us on our way.  At 8:30am we were walking out and taking the elevator up to chemo where I parted ways with Joe and came on back to work.  He was called to go back for his infusion at 9:20am and was out of there in just a little over an hour later.  All in all a pretty good day.  But why you ask, did I name this post "Joe is repetitive"?  Take a look at today's photo of Joe in the exam room.

Now scroll down to last Monday's post about his CT Scan results and look at the photo.  Notice anything?  Yep, exact same clothes and Chic-fil-A cup.  Come on Joe, don't be so repetitive.....think outside the box....maybe wear a green shirt....or blue shorts....or different shoes....or oh I don't know, cross your legs the other way....anything!  

A big thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts that continue to come Joe's way.  We both are very grateful.

Some People Just Don't Learn

Can you guess to whom I am referring?  If you said, Joe Lupton, you would be correct.  Since Monday I have heard Joe tell numerous people about the great news that the tumor has not grown and then go on to say how good he's been feeling and that he hasn't had a fever since late June when we were at the beach.  He then proceeded to attend the prayer vigil in downtown Raleigh Monday night (after having his chemo treatment at Duke Monday morning), attending the prayer vigil at the legislature building in Raleigh at noon on Tuesday, in the heat, for a couple of hours on Tuesday, 2 piano students later in the afternoon, then TGMC rehearsal last night for over 2 hours.  He did sleep late this morning, but of course, he is now running a fever and in bed.  I'm trying very hard not to say "I told you so", but there, I just said it.  Some people just don't learn.

Update:  Joe kept his fever Wednesday night and missed choir practice (thanks Challie & Allana for stepping in for him).  He kept taking Tylenol every 4 hours and by Thursday morning his fever had broke and was back to normal.  He has felt tired and has been battling a headache all day.  Only a half hour before we need to leave for Bible study and not sure yet if he will be able to go.  Maybe half a night or if he isn't up to it, I'll Skype him in so he can watch & listen.   Regardless, he feels better today, but just needs to behave himself and not overdo it.

The Tone of the Day Was Set Early

Let's hope the tone of the day was not set by what happened upon arrival just before 7:00 am. The auto check-in screen at the entrance to Duke Clinic 1A wasn't working and Joe actually had to wait in line to check in. He hasn't had to do that since our very first appointment back in November 2010. Although it only took 10 minutes, we are so used to being checked in before ever entering the waiting room, but I'm sure there are worse things.

Called back for blood work at 7:25am and then vitals 5 minutes after that. Only problem was I went for coffee and Joe some juice after the blood work so we lost our good seats. Oh well, small price to pay for a great cup of coffee. It's now 8:10am and we are back in an exam room waiting for the nurse and then Dr. Zafar. Soon we'll hopefully know the CT scan results. Oh, and Joe is obsessing that he has gained 3 lbs in 2 weeks. He wants to diet now... I think not!

Dr. Zafar came in about 8:20am with a smile on his face, but then again, he always is smiling.  We haven't seen him for an appointment since early summer so it was good to talk with him.  Best part, the CT scan showed NO GROWTH!  We would have liked to see shrinkage, but we are estatic over NO GROWTH!  The tumor is the same size as back in June and so we will continue with the chemo plan with no changes. 

As you can see, Joe was all smiles, as was I, but I was behind the camera lens.  We were out of there by 8:40am and I came on to work and Joe went on up to Chemo for his 9:15am appointment.  Today has been a good day and it's still morning. :)

Thanks to everyone who has inquired, prayed and sent good thoughts and karma our way.  It seems to be working.   Thank you.



Today's CT Scan

Today Joe had his second post surgical CT scan.  He had a 2pm appointment at the Duke Clinic and arrived on time but got a little worried when they announced that there was "trauma" in the CT scan area and that anyone waiting for a scan would be delayed.  However, the trauma must have been dealt with pretty quickly as he was called back around 2:20pm.  By 2:59pm he was out and on his way back to the parking deck.  We knew going in that we wouldn't get the results until his next doctor's appointment, which will be this coming Monday, Sept. 12.  He has to be at the clinic at 7am for labs and his appointment with Dr. Zafar is at 8am.  We have our fingers crossed and are saying many prayers that the scan results will show shrinkage of the tumor or at the very least, no growth or spreading.  Joe has been feeling very well lately and his energy level has never been better since the surgery.  He continues to tolerate the weekly chemo treatments very well with only minimal side effects which last only around 24 hours.

This past week has been especially good for both Joe and me.  We had a great visit with Lara, Joe & Ethan Wood at the beach, Joe had a good chorus rehearsal on Tuesday night (and we had lots of rain...our straw yard appreciated that), he had a large turnout for choir rehearsal Wednesday night and tonight was another engaging week of Disciple Bible Study at PGUMC.  All that and tomorrow is just Friday.  Saturday we are going to visit our nephew Wayne to round out the week.

Thank you to all for the warm wishes we have received this week as well as for the continued prayers for Joe.  A special thank you to our Pleasant Grove UMC family and their acceptance and heartfelt congratulations that they continue to express to me and Joe.

Labor Day Trip to Surf City

Last year, two of our best friends, Lara and Joe Wood, bought a townhouse at Surf City on Topsail Island. For over a year we have been trying to coordinate a time to come see them and the new place. Joe's unexpected health news last fall put a little wrinkle into making the visit. However, yesterday after church, we headed down for a quick overnight stay. The sunset was gorgeous.

The weather was wonderful, although somewhat overcast early Monday morning. By mid morning however, the sun was shining bright and we made our way down to the beach. Joe had his phone, so the only photographic evidence is from his phone and it takes crappy photos. We were only on the beach for a short time but upon returning home discovered both of us had a little sunburn on our legs and feet (burned my head too--curse of a bald head).

We had a great time and the entire trip would have been considered a resounding success had it not been for the drive back home.  Let's just say that I-40 East coming back from the beach to the Raleigh-Durham area on Labor Day afternoon is not a pleasant trip.   Stop & Go for more than 30 miles makes for a long drive.  But we made it back safe and sound, watched last nights episode of "True Blood" and plan to turn in early since tomorrow is back to work.    Joe has his CT scan on Thursday at Duke and then we'll have until next Monday to get the results.  We have our fingers crossed!

I hope everyone has enjoyed their Labor Day weekend, we sure have!

Put Him on the Phone!

Those were the words that Lola Elliott Hugh used during a phone conversation with Joe the first week of August.  The reason, I was having as they put it, a “hissy fit” over the wedding plans and preparations.   Why you ask, because the wedding which was now being planned from afar by Lola was, in my opinion at that moment, getting way to big and out of control.  When Joe and I first spoke of going up to Connecticut to do this, in my mind’s eye I had pictured going to the courthouse or town hall, wherever one gets a license in the State of Connecticut and after getting the license, having a Justice of the Peace or whatever town/county/city official could legally perform a marriage, take care of it dressed in our finest shorts & flip-flops and we’d be done in 10-15 minutes and on our way to enjoy a couple of days visiting with Rob and Lola.  However, apparently my mind’s eye was blind to the fact that Lola had a different set of plans.  First, after we had informed them that we wanted to come up in August and get married, Rob and Lola had been very excited and Lola had said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything”.  Good, right?  So I thought she would make sure where we needed to go, who we needed to see and they would be our witnesses.  Well she did all those things but she had more in mind than a simple ceremony on the steps of a courthouse.   
To read the full LONG post, click here

The End of this Chemo Cycle

Today, Joe completed his most recent cycle of Chemo treatment.   Even though I was there it went by pretty quickly and according to plan.  At least the doctor's appointment part.  His appointment was for 8am and when they called him back at 8:20am, they realized that they had not scheduled him for lab work.  That is a BIG OOPS, since he can't have his chemo treatments if blood work has not been done and the results are not in for the doctor to call in the chemo infusion prescription.  So after having vitals taken, Joe returned to me in the waiting room until they called him back for labs and then to an exam room.  Joe (and I) have agreed to be part of another study being done at Duke, so for the next little bit, his doctor's appointments will be recorded (audio).  Since I am in there and might speak (I always talk), I had to sign off on the agreement as well.  So just before Leigh Howard came in, the lady handling the study came in and quietly placed the recording device on the table.  We were all on our best behavior since we knew we were being recorded.  Regardless, Joe got a good report and we were out of there by 9:20am.  Joe went on up to chemo and I went on to work.  Since his lab work had been done so late, he had to wait until around 10:15am before he was called to the back for the infusion, but even then he had to wait another 30 minutes or so before the chemo prescription was sent up to the center.

Next week he will have his CT scan on Thursday (Sept. 8) and then will begin his next 3 week cycle of chemo treatments on September 12th.  The doctor's appointments are already set and they are all at 7:00am, which even though is extremely early, are preferable to later in the day when things really start to get backed up.  Being local does have it's advantages.

Today before I left, I snapped this photo of the new Duke Cancer Center and the hospital expansion.  The building on the left hand side of the photo is the cancer center which is set to open in early 2012.  The expansion to the hospital, if I am correct, is set for completion the following year.

Thank you to everyone for your calls, emails, letters and prayers.  Joe and I both take great comfort in all the warm wishes we have received.

Irene came calling......but I guess we didn't answer the door.

Irene came calling Friday night moving a wedding from Wilmington to Raleigh at PGUMC and Joe played for it.   Slight rain was falling in both Raleigh & Durham throughout and by the time we got home, the streets and ground were nice and damp.  Overnight we had a few showers as the outer bands of Irene came and went.  According to the weather reports we only got between 1/2 and an 1 inch of rain.  Most of that must have fallen overnight as during the day it was only a steady sprinkle.  The wind however really started to pick up in the early afternoon as Irene moved along the Albemarle sound.

We pretty much stayed in all day and ordered pizza for lunch.  We finally gave up on watching hurricane coverage on TV about 3:30 and started watching things we had on the DVR.    Our power here only flickered off once around noon unlike some other areas of Durham & Raleigh who lost power due to downed trees, blown transformers, etc.

In the mail today we received our certified copies of our marriage certificate from Connecticut.  Now we have something else to put in the safety deposit box, since we tend to misplace things a lot around here.  All in all it's been a nice quiet Saturday for us.  Of course, as I type this, the wind and rain have gotten up stronger than it has been all day long.  Oh well, guess it's nap time.  We both hope that everyone stays safe and dry while Hurricane Irene moves up the U.S. coastline, especially Rob & Lola in CT.